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Nowadays, people have free access to music and videos online. Is this a positive or a negative development? v.2

Nowadays, people have free access to music and videos online. Is this a positive or a negative development? v. 2
In today’s world, watching movies and listening to songs helps the people to bring the change in their monotonous routine. Online access to these media files has made it easier, to a great extent, for people to download them free of cost. It is a negative development in my perception which is described further in detail. Commencing with my viewpoint, one of the negative impacts of unlimited availability of media files is that people are getting addicted. It is not an uncommon thing to notice that most of the people like to spend every moment that they buy out of their busy schedules, staring at their cell-phone screens or their computers to explore their favourite video or audio content online. What they do not realize is that they waste a lot of their precious time doing such things and also feel restless when they do not get to do it. This not only meddles with their focusing power but also reduces their productive potential, both of which are essential to avoid procrastination of necessary tasks. Moving further, another unacceptable aspect that is worth mentioning here is the level of piracy which has gained new heights recently. Undoubtedly, not all the content on the web is officially released by the makers of it. There are many individuals who find pleasure in distributing highly-paid content, freely to the public. This incurs a huge loss to the creators of that content who put a lot of energy, time and funds while creating their work as those who find it readily available never like to spend even a single penny to own it. Needless to say, this is also reducing the number of people going to the cinemas fading their popularity although gradually but consistently. Conclusively, it can be said that free online access to music and videos has some pessimistic aspects associated with it. Therefore, there should be some limitations to its availability.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world, watching movies and listening to songs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to bring the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in their monotonous routine. Online access to these media files has made it easier, to a great extent, for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to download them free of cost. It is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development in my perception which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
described
further
in detail.

Commencing with my viewpoint, one of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts of unlimited availability of media files is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are getting addicted. It is not an uncommon thing to notice that most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to spend every moment that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
out of their busy schedules, staring at their cell-phone screens or their computers to explore their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
video or audio
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
content
online. What they do not realize is that they waste
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
their precious time doing such things and
also
feel restless when they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to do it. This not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
meddles with their focusing power
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
their productive potential, both of which are essential to avoid procrastination of necessary tasks.

Moving
further
, another unacceptable aspect
that is
worth mentioning here is the level of piracy which has gained new heights recently.
Undoubtedly
, not all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
content
on the web is
officially
released by the makers of it. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals who find pleasure in distributing
highly
-paid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
content
,
freely
to the public. This incurs a huge loss to the creators of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
content
who put
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
energy, time and funds while creating their work as those who find it
readily
available never like to spend even a single penny to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
it. Needless to say, this is
also
reducing the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
going to the cinemas fading their popularity although
gradually
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
consistently
.

Conclusively
, it can
be said
that free online access to music and videos has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
pessimistic aspects associated with it.
Therefore
, there should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
limitations to its availability.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays, people have free access to music and videos online. Is this a positive or a negative development? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
320 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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