Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Nowadays people are less fit and healthy than they were in the past, which could affect their long term health. Why do you think this is? What can be done to solve this problem?

Leading a healthy lifestyle has become less essential in our life. People are less vigorous and fit now as compared to the days years ago. This essay shall delve into the reasons behind this scenario along with the remedial measure in the subsequent paragraph. Firstly, the world we are living in is totally taken over by technology, this is the reason why physical activities are diminishing with time. To exemplify, when a person does not go out for physical activities or exercise they tend to spend their leisure time using laptops, mobiles phones and other devices, thereby playing with their physical well being. This is the main reason why people are turning into couch potatoes. Furthermore, in the past people did not have any access to electronic gadgets. If they wanted to go somewhere they had to cover the distance walking to reach their destination. Even for basic necessities like food and water they had to travel to their farms which were far away from their home. Some used bicycles and some travelled on their own, though both ways it was a great exercise. To fortify further, today’s generation is much busier in other works and they hardly get time to do physical activities. Companies are forcing employees to work in graveyard shifts and they do not let people take a sigh of relief, especially in the third world countries. For example, people who are working in call centres are the most affected people in this era. Hence, the government should run more and more health campaigns to aware people of what is important for their future. They should tell and support everyone to walk at least 6000 steps a day. It would not only help everyone to burn calories but this will enhance their mood too. Government needs to make strict working laws for firms who are not letting their employees spend some hours of the day taking care of themselves. To conclude, people have become less active due to lack of time and work promises, moreover, they have become more engrossed in technology. However, this situation can be handled by promoting the health benefits of spending time on doing a workout.
Leading a healthy lifestyle has become less essential in our life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are less vigorous and fit
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
as compared to the days years ago. This essay shall delve into the reasons behind this scenario along with the remedial measure in the subsequent paragraph.

Firstly
, the world we are living in is
totally
taken over by technology, this is the reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
activities are diminishing with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. To exemplify, when a person does not go out for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
activities or exercise they tend to spend their leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
using laptops, mobiles phones and other devices, thereby playing with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
This word is normally spelled with a hyphen.
well being
. This is the main reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are turning into couch potatoes.
Furthermore
, in the past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
did not have any access to electronic gadgets.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
they wanted to go somewhere they had to cover the distance walking to reach their destination. Even for
Consider using “necessities”.
basic necessities
like food and water they had to travel to their farms which were far away from their home.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
bicycles and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
travelled on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
, though both ways it was a great exercise.

To fortify
further
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s generation is much busier in other
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
works and
they hardly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
activities.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Companies
are forcing employees to work in graveyard
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
shifts and
they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
take a sigh of relief,
especially
in the third world countries.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are working in call
Possible spelling mistake. ‘centres’ is British English.
centres
are the most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in this era.

Hence
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should run more and more health campaigns to aware
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of what is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for their future. They should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
and support everyone to walk at least 6000 steps a day. It would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
everyone to burn calories
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this will enhance their mood too.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
needs to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
strict working laws for firms who are not letting their employees spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
hours of the day taking care of themselves.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have become less active due to lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and work promises,
moreover
, they have become more engrossed in technology.
However
, this situation can
be handled
by promoting the health benefits of spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on doing a workout.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Nowadays people are less fit and healthy than they were in the past, which could affect their long term health. Why do you think this is? What can be done to solve this problem?

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
363 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts