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No one can deny the fact that sports play an integral part in everyone’s life. While some people think sports are mandatory for the children to bring up them as strong person, others assume that education is the primary focused so sports should be played for fun.

No one can deny the fact that sports play an integral part in everyone’s life. While some people think sports are mandatory for the children to bring up them as strong person, others assume that education is the primary focused so sports should be played for fun. R2xQ8
No one can deny the fact that sports play an integral part in everyone’s life. While some people think sports are mandatory for the children to bring up them as strong person, others assume that education is the primary focused so sports should be played for fun. On the one hand, it has been observed that children, who participate in the outdoor activities, are much physically and mentally stronger than that of others. This is because, while playing, multiple tasks such as learning, thinking and good judgement should be performed simultaneously and these things increase the mental ability of the players. Furthermore, a lot of sweat is produced by body during performance and it not only develops the muscles but also keeps the disease away. Apart from this, it has been observed that sports reduce the stress level because it boost the production of endorphin harmonious, which leaves you feel more relax and optimistic. On the other hand side, masses utter that sports should be played for fun so that it helps to rejuvenate the energy and concentration level. If it played for long hours, it makes the children lethargic, which has an adverse impact on their studies due to lack of focus on it. Last but not the least, in this competitive world, to secure good position in entrance exam a lot of hard work is required which should be initiated from secondary classes. To conclude, although sports consume little time, it should be played every day so that children can remain health.
No one can deny the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
play an integral part in everyone’s life. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are mandatory for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to bring up them as strong person, others assume that education is the primary focused
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
played
for fun.

On the one hand, it has
been observed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, who participate in the outdoor activities, are much
physically
and mentally stronger than that of others. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, while playing, multiple tasks such as learning, thinking and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
judgement should
be performed
simultaneously
and these things increase the mental ability of the players.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
sweat
is produced
by body during performance and it not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
develops the muscles
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
the disease away. Apart from this, it has
been observed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
level
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
Did you mean "boosts"?
boost
the production of endorphin harmonious, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
you feel more relax and optimistic.

On the other hand
side, masses utter that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
played
for fun
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to rejuvenate the energy and concentration level. If it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
played
for long hours, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
lethargic, which has an adverse impact on their studies due to lack of focus on it. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the least, in this competitive world, to secure
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
position in entrance exam
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work
is required
which should
be initiated
from secondary classes.

To conclude
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
consume
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
time, it should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
played
every day
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can remain health.
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IELTS essay No one can deny the fact that sports play an integral part in everyone’s life. While some people think sports are mandatory for the children to bring up them as strong person, others assume that education is the primary focused so sports should be played for fun.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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