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NARRATIVE STORIES about writing travel

NARRATIVE STORIES about writing travel rG7Wn
Da Lat was one of the views beautifully that I knew in Vietnam. I did not know how long has it been since I went travel Da Lat two years ago. I took eight hours to Lam Dong by bus with my family. Especially, I was surprised by the climate that it was cold and very quiet with a huge number of trees. First of all, My family separated a two-room consisting of my father with me staying in the room and the last room was my mother with sister. In the evening, I came to Lam Vien square which was interesting in Da Lat; I bought any food such as creams, fruits, etc. Moreover, we have visited “Thung lung Tinh you” which here was romantic so I loved it. Besides that, when I was walking in the street, the dog ran quickly about me for friendly. After this outing, I felt satisfied with the journey due to the fact it brought many things. If I had time I would like to go back to Da Lat with my friends.
Da
Lat was one of the views
beautifully
that I knew in Vietnam. I did not know how long has it been since I went travel
Da
Lat two years ago. I took eight hours to Lam Dong by bus with my family.
Especially
, I
was surprised
by the climate that it was
cold
and
very
quiet with a huge number of trees.
First of all
, My family separated a two-room consisting of my father with me staying in the room and the last room was my mother with sister. In the evening, I came to Lam
Vien
square which was
interesting
in
Da
Lat; I
bought
any food such as creams, fruits, etc.
Moreover
, we have visited “
Thung
lung
Tinh
you” which here was romantic
so
I
loved
it.
Besides
that, when I was walking in the street, the dog ran
quickly
about me for friendly. After this outing, I felt satisfied with the journey due to the fact it brought
many
things.
If
I had time I would like to go back to
Da
Lat with my friends.
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IELTS essay NARRATIVE STORIES about writing travel

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
180 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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