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Multicultural societies, in which there is mixture of different ethnic people, bring more benefits than drawbacks to a country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Multicultural societies, in which there is mixture of different ethnic people, bring more benefits than drawbacks to a country. JeJ6
It is argued that a society with a mixture of cultures and religions offers more benefits compared to drawbacks. I entirely agree with the statement and believe that mixed societies are very beneficial for the nation as well as individuals. Enlightening the pros offered by cosmopolitan societies. Firstly, a society with a blend of multiple cultural backgrounds means more and more employment opportunities which in turn leads to economical growth of a nation. If a place holds people with different choices and lifestyle, that means their requirement are also different. So, these needs are cattered to by the residents and this is how they get employment. Another benefit of a nation with various races and religion is that the natives of such places have wider horizons. They are habitual of adjusting in such environments; where people have non-parallel religious thoughts and priorities. Canada can be an ideal example of such habitats. Although it consists of folks from different corners of the world, everybody live there with peace and harmony. Also, they get to know other cultures around them, this way they are more likely to hone their knowledge and develop a better sense of co-operation and brotherhood. While offering the immense benefits, multi-cultural societies can have some drawbacks as well. It is possible that residing with variety of tribes might cause chaos and anarchy. Sometimes due to mismatch of different ways of thinking, conflicts can occur. In some parts of Africa, for instance, racism dates back to several centuries. Discrimination and time-to-time utter disputes still prevail on the basis of collashing races and religions. But in my opinion, these cases are far and few. As these pitholes can be fixed if the authorities make stringent laws and take them under consideration. To conclude, even though there is a minor probability of unprejudiced and global societies leading to racial discrimination and conflicts, I whole heartedly believe that these social groups are widely fruitful for the development of the nation as well as its natives.
It
is argued
that a
society
with a mixture of cultures and religions offers more benefits compared to drawbacks. I
entirely
agree
with the statement and believe that mixed
societies
are
very
beneficial for the
nation
as well
as individuals.

Enlightening the pros offered by cosmopolitan
societies
.
Firstly
, a
society
with a blend of multiple cultural backgrounds means more and more employment opportunities which in turn leads to
economical
growth of a
nation
. If a place holds
people
with
different
choices and lifestyle, that means their requirement are
also
different
.
So
, these needs are
cattered
to
by
the residents and this is how they
get
employment. Another benefit of a
nation
with various races and religion is that the natives of such places have wider horizons. They are habitual of adjusting in such environments; where
people
have non-parallel religious thoughts and priorities. Canada can be an ideal example of such habitats. Although it consists of folks from
different
corners of the world, everybody
live
there with peace and harmony.
Also
, they
get
to know other cultures around them, this way they are more likely to hone their knowledge and develop a better sense of co-operation and brotherhood.

While offering the immense benefits, multi-cultural
societies
can have
some
drawbacks
as well
. It is possible that residing with variety of tribes might cause chaos and anarchy.
Sometimes
due to mismatch of
different
ways of thinking, conflicts can occur. In
some
parts of Africa,
for instance
, racism dates back to several centuries. Discrimination and time-to-time utter disputes
still
prevail on the basis of
collashing
races and religions.
But
in my opinion, these cases are far and few. As these
pitholes
can be
fixed
if the authorities
make
stringent laws and take them under consideration.

To conclude
,
even though
there is a minor probability of unprejudiced and global
societies
leading to racial discrimination and conflicts, I whole
heartedly
believe that these social groups are
widely
fruitful for the development of the
nation
as well
as its natives.
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IELTS essay Multicultural societies, in which there is mixture of different ethnic people, bring more benefits than drawbacks to a country.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
333 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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