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MORE AND MORE PROPLE ARE USING INTERENT to do task rather than doing in person(banking, shopping, hotel booking) do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages.)

MORE AND MORE PROPLE ARE USING INTERENT to do task rather than doing in person(banking, shopping, hotel booking) do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages. ) 3pBN
Advances in technology result in the growth of online businesses. I strongly support the idea that E-businesses have an edge over traditional businesses. Many people find it convenient and safer to do shopping online than to visit the store in person. In the following paragraphs, I will provide some arguments to support my opinion. There are many reasons why individuals prefer virtual platforms to do various tasks such as banking, shopping, and making various appointments. Firstly, there are no doubts that using online platforms for banking is very convenient because by the click of the button one can transfer funds and receive payments without standing in long queues of banks. On the other hand, consumers have a variety of platforms available to do shopping from clothing to kitchen utensils and many more. besides, shopping and banking other services such as utility services, cab or hotel booking, to get an appointment is now not a cumbersome job at the click of the button all these facilities can be availed while sitting at home. In this way, people are in a better position and getting benefits from e-businesses. Admittedly, there are some disadvantages of online businesses. Cyberattacks are growing more and more innocent people suffered from these attacks. Their personal information is always at risk. Many individuals lost their hard-earned money due to fraudulent acts of hackers. Moreover, some virtual platforms are deceiving consumers by sending them fake products instead of original ones. These are the shortcomings that sometimes reluctance among customers to chose online platform than traditional ways of performing various tasks. To sum up, I think strict measures to prevent cyberattacks can bring confidence among customers to chose the digital platform that doing tasks in person. E- businesses bring numerous benefits such as the growth of entrepreneurship in the economy, which helps in solving the problem of unemployment. ultimately, the development in the economy is possible with the growth of online businessess.
Advances in technology result in the growth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
. I
strongly
support the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that E-businesses have an edge over traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
find it convenient and safer to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
than to visit the store in person. In the following paragraphs, I will provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
arguments to support my opinion. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons why individuals prefer virtual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platforms
to do various tasks such as banking,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
, and making various appointments.
Firstly
, there are no doubts that using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platforms
for banking is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
convenient
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
by the click of the button one can transfer funds and receive payments without standing in long queues of banks.
On the other hand
, consumers have a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platforms
available to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
from clothing to kitchen utensils and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
and banking other services such as utility services, cab or hotel booking, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an appointment is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
not a cumbersome job at the click of the button all these facilities can
be availed
while sitting at home. In this way,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are in a better position and getting benefits from e-businesses.
Admittedly
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
. Cyberattacks are growing more and more innocent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
suffered from these attacks. Their personal information is always at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
individuals lost their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-earned money due to fraudulent acts of hackers.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
virtual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platforms
are deceiving consumers by sending them fake products
instead
of original ones. These are the shortcomings that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
reluctance among customers to chose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platform
than traditional ways of performing various tasks. To sum up, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
strict measures to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
cyberattacks can bring confidence among customers
Did you mean "to choose"?
to chose
the digital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platform
that doing tasks in person. E-
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
bring numerous benefits such as the growth of entrepreneurship in the economy, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in solving the problem of unemployment.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
ultimately
, the development in the economy is possible with the growth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
Possible spelling mistake found.
businessess
.
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IELTS essay MORE AND MORE PROPLE ARE USING INTERENT to do task rather than doing in person(banking, shopping, hotel booking) do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages. )

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
322 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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