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modern means of communication have reduced the amount of time people spend seeing friends. this has had a negative effect on their social lives. do you agree or disagree ?

modern means of communication have reduced the amount of time people spend seeing friends. this has had a negative effect on their social lives. nyag
The development of technology has changed our life in many ways. One of the biggest changes is that how people communicate with others. In the past, if people wanted to share information or simply to talk, they had to see other people directly or sent hand-writing letters. Nowadays, people spend less time to see friends by using modern means of communication. However, it is not so certain that this has affected their social lives in a bad way. Life is getting harder day by day, so people have a number of things to worry about. They have to work more to earn money, even at night, and to take care of their families. I believe these are the reasons for reducing the amount of time seeing friends. Whereas, modern technology is helping them stay in touch with friends. People can talk communicate more easily even at home. On the other hand, using modern forms allows people to talk to friends all over the world. I think that people's social lives have been getting much better, because they have the chance to discover other country's culture, human and history. What is more, from personal experience, new technology helps me alot with my work. I use email and messaging every day to exchange information with customers and partners. Also, it would be very simple if i want to make an appointment with just a text. In conclusion, it is obvious that people nowadays do not have more time to see their friends directly. However, this is not the consequence of modern forms of communication which, in fact, are supporting people in such many ways.
The development of technology has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
our life in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways. One of the biggest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
is that how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
communicate with others. In the past, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
wanted to share information or
simply
to talk, they had to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
directly
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
hand-writing letters. Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend less time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
by using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
means of communication.
However
, it is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
certain that this has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
their social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
way.

Life is getting harder day by day,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a number of things to worry about. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work more to earn money, even at night, and to take care of their families. I believe these are the reasons for reducing the amount of time seeing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
technology is helping them stay in touch with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can talk communicate more
easily
even at home.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
forms
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to talk to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
all over the world. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
have been getting much better,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have the chance to discover
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
country's culture, human and history.

What is more
, from personal experience, new technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
me
Possible spelling mistake found.
alot
with my work. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
email and messaging every day to exchange information with customers and partners.
Also
, it would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
simple if
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an appointment with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a text.

In conclusion
, it is obvious that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
nowadays do not have more time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
directly
.
However
, this is not the consequence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
forms of communication which, in fact, are supporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in such
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways.
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IELTS essay modern means of communication have reduced the amount of time people spend seeing friends. this has had a negative effect on their social lives.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
272 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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