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many people work long hour leaving very little time to leisure activities.what are the advantage and disadvantage

many people work long hour leaving very little time to leisure activities. what are the advantage and disadvantage pR192
It is certainly true that in modern life people have to do lots of tasks in a limited time period. Most human beings work maximum hours and giving very little attention to doing leisure activities. No doubt, these days, individuals always think to earn money because they want their future secure. The aim of this essay is to review the pros and cons of the given statement. To embark upon, there are some merits when people do work for long hours. First and foremost, when mankind was given much time to do work, then they can get huge money and they can easily fulfil the basic requirement of their family. secondly, humans can get valuable knowledge and skill about the work within very little time. since, if citizens have higher practical experience about the work then they can easily get the higher position in the company. According to a survey conducted by Cambridge University, 35% of people spend a maximum month at the workplace. On the other hand, unfurling some demerits of this trend. Firstly, when humankind works a maximum no of hours then they can not spend much time with their family and friends. furthermore, they can face different types of health problems because they can not do physical activity which is necessary to fresh our mind and for stay healthy. for instance, it can be seen that in Delhi 55% of inhabitants do much fewer leisure tasks. To put it in a nutshell by dropping my pen down, although there are some benefits when people do work for a long hour some extra activity like playing is equally important to become physically fit
It is
certainly
true that in modern life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do lots of tasks in a limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
period. Most human beings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
maximum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
and giving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
attention to doing leisure activities. No doubt, these days, individuals always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
to earn money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they want their future secure. The aim of this essay is to review the pros and cons of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement.

To embark upon, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
merits when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
.
First
and foremost, when mankind was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, then they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
huge
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
money and
they can
easily
fulfil the basic requirement of their family.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
secondly
, humans can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
valuable knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
within
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
since
, if citizens have higher practical experience about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
then they can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the higher position in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. According to a survey conducted by Cambridge University, 35% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend a maximum month at the workplace.

On the other hand
, unfurling
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
demerits of this trend.
Firstly
, when humankind works a maximum
Did you mean "now" (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
no
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
then they can not spend much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their family and friends.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
furthermore
, they can face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of health problems
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can not do physical activity which is necessary to fresh our mind and for stay healthy.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
instance, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that in Delhi 55% of inhabitants do much fewer leisure tasks.

To put it in a nutshell by dropping my pen down, although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for a long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hour
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extra activity like playing is
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to become
physically
fit
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IELTS essay many people work long hour leaving very little time to leisure activities. what are the advantage and disadvantage

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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