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Many people suffer from insomnia. What do think is it caused. What is the solution of this problem?

Many people suffer from insomnia. What do think is it caused. What is the solution of this problem? BwDLm
In the prevailing scenario, individuals are suffering from health ailments and many people are confronting the problem of insomnia. However, I intend ti discuss the reasons of this problem and solutions of above stated notion which is being elaborated in my impending textual. To commence with, it has insurmountable reasons that why majority individuals are facing problem of insomnia. First and foremost reason is that individuals are relied on social networking sited especially youngsters alsothey are using mobile phones in an excessive way and many radiations are emitting from the cell phones, which leads to put high impact on health issues. As a result, brain get tired due to using mobile phones inoridinate amount as well as people feel anxiety and get into depression. For example, an article was published in 2020 in India which revealed that majority of individuals are confronting problem of lack of sleep due to excess usage of cell phones. On the flip side, there are many solution to overcome this problem. Firstly, individuals should give proper time to every task and should less usage of cell phones so that one can manage all the things and give time to leisure activities such as spend time with family members and playing outdoor games. Therefore, it leads to put great impact on individuals lifestyle and on daily routine also, people would be enjoyed every activity. For instance, a survey was conduceted in Veitnam which showed that 35% of people has less usage of mobile phones and gave time to another activities. To recapitualte, although using cell phones in less amount seems to be an effective measure but another factors should also be adopted.
In the prevailing scenario,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
are suffering from health ailments and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are confronting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of insomnia.
However
, I intend ti discuss the reasons of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
and solutions of above stated notion which is
being elaborated
in my impending textual.

To commence with, it has insurmountable reasons that why majority
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
are facing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of insomnia.
First
and foremost reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
are relied
on social networking sited
especially
youngsters
Possible spelling mistake found.
alsothey
are using mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
Consider replacing "in an excessive way" with the adverb for "excessive"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an excessive way
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
radiations are emitting from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
, which leads to put high impact on health issues.
As a result
, brain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
tired due to using mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
Possible spelling mistake found.
inoridinate
amount
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel anxiety and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into depression.
For example
, an article
was published
in 2020 in India which revealed that majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
are confronting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of lack of sleep due to excess usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
phones.

On the flip side, there are
Possible agreement error. The noun solution seems to be countable; consider using: "many solutions".
many solution
to overcome this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
should give proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to every task and should less usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that one can manage all the things and give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to leisure activities such as spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with family members and playing outdoor games.
Therefore
, it leads to put great impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
lifestyle and on daily routine
also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would
be enjoyed
every activity.
For instance
, a survey was
Possible spelling mistake found.
conduceted
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Veitnam
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that 35% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
has less usage of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
and gave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to another activities.

To
Possible spelling mistake found.
recapitualte
, although using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
in less amount seems to be an effective measure
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
another factors should
also
be adopted
.
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IELTS essay Many people suffer from insomnia. What do think is it caused. What is the solution of this problem?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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