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Many people nowadays regard shopping as a hobby

Many people nowadays regard shopping as a hobby wnRDe
Shopping used to be a daily need, but recently, it is becoming a leisure activity. Personally, this trend is quite positive in some perspectives. Thus, this essay is going to discuss the problem and my opinion. In the past, the economy, also the product variety were less developed than nowadays. Thus, everyone just bought necessary products for their family such as food, clothes or sometimes medicine. The less well off found it unnecessary and hard to afford when purchasing expensive items such as luxury clothes, food or spent money on entertainments such as toys or concert tickets. However, nowadays, there are a variety of products serving for entertainment or relaxing with a reasonable price. For example, some families or even students usually go to malls on weekends to get a gathering meeting in a restaurant or to watch movies in cinemas with others and at present these activities are served with a lower price than the past, so not only the better off could enjoy them. That is the reason shopping is an entertainment task now, especially for young people. As for the positive impact which shopping benefit us, also the drawback of it. One of the benefits of shopping is it could release our stress and depressed. If we are bored, sad, worried, stressed, feel lonely or have another uncomfortable emotion, shopping can distract us from feeling that way, to confront the situation. Also, buying something we like can “make us” feel a bit better. The result is we have gap time to bounce back and then we might have enough calm to deal our problems. However, there is exist a big drawback is waste of money. If we could not control ourselves, when we go shopping, we would face overspending and lead to debt. Conclusing, shopping not only buy somethings, but also becoming a hobby now. Although there is the positive impact in this trend, we ought to control our outcome when purchasing.
Shopping
used
to be a daily need,
but
recently, it is becoming a leisure activity.
Personally
, this trend is quite
positive
in
some
perspectives.
Thus
, this essay is going to discuss the problem and my opinion.

In the past, the economy,
also
the product variety were less developed than nowadays.
Thus
, everyone
just
bought
necessary products for their family such as food, clothes or
sometimes
medicine. The less well off found it unnecessary and
hard
to afford when purchasing expensive items such as luxury clothes, food or spent money on entertainments such as toys or concert tickets.
However
, nowadays, there are a variety of products serving for entertainment or relaxing with a reasonable price.
For example
,
some
families or even students
usually
go to malls on weekends to
get
a gathering meeting in a restaurant or to
watch
movies in cinemas with others and at present these activities
are served
with a lower price than the past,
so
not
only
the better off could enjoy them.
That is
the reason
shopping
is an entertainment task
now
,
especially
for young
people
.

As for the
positive
impact which
shopping
benefit us,
also
the drawback of it. One of the benefits of
shopping
is it could release our
stress
and depressed. If we
are bored
, sad, worried,
stressed
, feel lonely or have another uncomfortable emotion,
shopping
can distract us from feeling that way, to confront the situation.
Also
, buying something we like can “
make
us” feel a bit better. The result is we have gap time to bounce
back and
then we might have
enough
calm to deal our problems.
However
, there is
exist
a
big
drawback is waste of money. If we could not control ourselves, when we go
shopping
, we would face overspending and lead to debt.

Conclusing
,
shopping
not
only
buy
somethings,
but
also
becoming a hobby
now
. Although there is the
positive
impact in this trend, we ought to control our outcome when purchasing.
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IELTS essay Many people nowadays regard shopping as a hobby

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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