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Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. 7aJRn
Social media is an essential part of our lives whether we like it or not. While some have used it for numerous benefits others consider it as a waste of time. I believe that it actually good if the user doesn't spend too much time on it. Mostly people working in a professional capacity as managers and over the age of 35 consider social media as a waste of precious time. The way they see it is that each hour spent on social media is an hour of productivity lost. Young workers browsing their Instagram or Facebook accounts during business hours is a common occurrence. This results in distracted employees who don't focus on their work. These managers then go home to be welcomed by the sight of thier kids consuming entertain on Facebook, YouTube or other such platform. This leads to lack of quality time spent together as a family. Most people however realize the importance of social media. A lot of business houses understand the utility of it and exploit it to their favour. Fashion, tourism and education are just a few industries amongst others that have used social media to attract clients and increase sales. My parents own a fashion apparel business and use Instagram to attract clients and grow from there. Another use of social media is that it serves as a great platform for news updates. The best example of this would be the recent elections conducted in USA. The results of these elections were broadcasted live on twitter better than traditional media. While the world is divided in its stand towards social media, one thing is clear that it has integrated into our lives band is here to stay. Some people due the lack of will power may have harmed from it, the world by and large is thankful for it. I believe that it is a mark of progress to adopt to it.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is an essential part of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
whether we like it or not. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
it for numerous benefits others consider it as a waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. I believe that it actually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
if the user doesn't spend too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on it.

Mostly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
working in a professional capacity as managers and over the age of 35 consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
as a waste of precious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. The way they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
it is that each hour spent on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is an hour of productivity lost. Young workers browsing their Instagram or Facebook accounts during business hours is a common occurrence. This results in distracted employees who don't focus on their work. These managers then go home to
be welcomed
by the sight of
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
kids consuming entertain on Facebook, YouTube or other such platform. This leads to lack of quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
spent together as a family.

Most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
however
realize the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
business
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
understand the utility of it and exploit it to their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
. Fashion, tourism and education are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a few industries amongst others that have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
to attract clients and increase sales. My parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
a fashion apparel business and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
Instagram to attract clients and grow from there. Another
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is that it serves as a great platform for news updates. The best example of this would be the recent elections conducted
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the USA".
in USA
. The results of these elections
were broadcasted
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
on twitter better than traditional media.

While the world
is divided
in its stand towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
, one thing is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that it has integrated into our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
band is here to stay.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
due the lack of will power may have harmed from it, the world by and large is thankful for it. I believe that it is a mark of progress to
Did you mean "adapt to"?
adopt to
it.
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IELTS essay Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have a huge negative impact on both individuals and society.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
320 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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