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It is true that, nowadays, children would rather choose watching TV as a leisure activity than playing outside or doing creative things. While there are many various reasons for this problem, there are also many measures that could be taken to tackle this issue.

It is true that, nowadays, children would rather choose watching TV as a leisure activity than playing outside or doing creative things. While there are many various reasons for this problem, there are also many measures that could be taken to tackle this issue. dopPd
These days juveniles spend most of their time watching television rather than running through creative things. It is needless to say that availability of TV and smartphones is the major cause for this and parents should be more inflexible with adolescents to terminate this trend. Related ideas will be discussed in the upcoming paragraphs To embark on, there are many reasons for addiction to televisions. First of all, at the moment, platforms such as TV, smartphones, computers are usually available to every individual which is very convenient for them to use it at anywhere at anytime. Teenagers can use them with just a click of buttons. Moreover, on this platforms, content such as movies, web series, songs are extremely interesting as well as providing at no cost. so children cannot resist themselves admiring the shows on televisions. In order to discourage teenagers from watching television, parents should be more strict and harsh on children. Parents should not provide TVs to the teenagers under any circumstances. This is the first and crucial step to take. Moreover, schools should encourage the young students to indulge in extra curricular activities and hobbies such as music, dance, sports. Due to this teenagers could the lab their passion. To perorate, I reiterate my opinion that the advancement of technology has made TV readily available to youth due to which they are indulging more in watching television instead of doing creative work. To manage this, parents and school authorities should encourage children to perform functional tasks.
These days juveniles spend most of their time watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
rather
than running through creative things. It is needless to say that availability of TV and smartphones is the major cause for this and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should be more inflexible with adolescents to terminate this trend. Related
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
will
be discussed
in the upcoming
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
paragraphs


To embark on, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons for addiction to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
televisions
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, at the moment, platforms such as TV, smartphones, computers are
usually
available to every individual which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
convenient for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it at anywhere at anytime.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Teenagers
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a click of buttons.
Moreover
, on
Did you mean "these"?
this
platforms, content such as movies, web series, songs are
The extreme adjective for interesting is "fascinating", or "exciting".
extremely interesting
as well
as providing at no cost.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
children cannot resist themselves admiring the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
on televisions.

In order to discourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
from watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should be more strict and harsh on children.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
should not provide TVs to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
under any circumstances. This is the
first
and crucial step to take.
Moreover
, schools should encourage the young students to indulge in
This word is normally spelled as one.
extra curricular
activities and hobbies such as music, dance, sports. Due to
Did you mean "these"?
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
could the lab their passion.

To
Possible spelling mistake found.
perorate
, I reiterate my opinion that the advancement of technology has made TV
readily
available to youth due to which they are indulging more in watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
instead
of doing creative work. To manage this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and school authorities should encourage children to perform functional tasks.
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IELTS essay It is true that, nowadays, children would rather choose watching TV as a leisure activity than playing outside or doing creative things. While there are many various reasons for this problem, there are also many measures that could be taken to tackle this issue.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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