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It is suggested that primary children should learn how to grow vegetables and keep animals. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

It is suggested that primary children should learn how to grow vegetables and keep animals. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? XAQr
In this day and age, the tendency that children should learn anything surround them has drawn a lot of attention from the public. More especially, some individuals tend to think the students need to learn some topics which about flora and fauna in the primary school. In my opinion, this trend have both negative and positive aspects. This essay will demonstrate my point of view. On the one hand, it can be said that learning about animal or vegetation has some noteworthy benefit effects. That mean, the children should gain the knowledge of numerous of basic things around them and may improve their personalities in really young age. For example, the child could understand how to be patient through the planting process due to the fact that they need to wait untill the trees grow up and provide some fruits. On the other hand, despite there aforementioned benefits, several drawbacks do exist. A child should absorb another precious knowlegdes rather than some simple things like plan vegetables or keeping creatures. Then, something such as related to many academic subject which included math, history or english, etc. Because of lots of aldults lean on that their children will be successful in the future and get a stable occupation if they have a solid foundations. In a nutshell, I firmly hold the view that the disadvantages pale in comparison with the advantages that this trend contributes.
In this day and age, the tendency that children should learn anything surround them has drawn
a lot of
attention from the public. More
especially
,
some
individuals tend to
think
the students need to learn
some
topics which about flora and fauna in the primary school. In my opinion,
this trend have
both
negative
and
positive
aspects. This essay will demonstrate my point of view.

On the one hand, it can
be said
that learning about animal or vegetation has
some
noteworthy benefit effects. That mean, the children should gain the knowledge of numerous of basic things around them and may
improve
their personalities in
really
young age.
For example
, the child could understand how to be patient through the planting process due to the fact that they need to wait
untill
the trees grow up and provide
some
fruits.

On the other hand
, despite there aforementioned benefits, several drawbacks do exist. A child should absorb another precious
knowlegdes
rather
than
some
simple things like plan vegetables or keeping creatures. Then, something such as related to
many
academic subject which included math, history or
english
, etc.
Because
of lots of
aldults
lean on that their children will be successful in the future and
get
a stable occupation if they have a solid
foundations
.

In a nutshell, I
firmly
hold the view that the disadvantages pale
in comparison
with the advantages that this trend contributes.
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IELTS essay It is suggested that primary children should learn how to grow vegetables and keep animals. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
234 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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