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It is suggested that everyone should have a car, a television and a fridge. Do disadvantages of this development for society outweigh advantages?

It is suggested that everyone should have a car, a television and a fridge. Do disadvantages of this development for society outweigh advantages? 38qX
Technology has sparked off in every field of life and hence, everyone wants to acquire their own technological appliances from transportation to communication. This approach has both optimistic and pessimistic aspects. However, I believe that it is more advantageous. Advancement in technology has brought enormous merits. As regards communicating information, rather than conversing face to face, people prefer to use electronic gadgets to do so which not only helps to strengthen the globalisation but also saves the time of individuals. Moreover, inventions such as television has assisted masses to access information globally. Apart from that, cars not only provide comfort to the users but also give the opportunity to explore other places which are away from their host areas and thus, it has culminated in the growth of tourism. Furthermore, in the past, women had to perform all the household chores manually. However, kitchen gadgets, for instance, microwave, fridge and washing machine, saves a lot of time of housewives and therefore, they can use the same time by spending with their children fruitfully. Although this concern has several pros, cons of this cannot be neglected. Living a sedentary lifestyle has become a burning question of the day as individuals, especially youngsters, are always glued to television and do binge watching and hence, they have become couch potatoes. This has resulted in the high rate of obesity which is detrimental to their health. In addition, dependency on cars js also hazardous. If everyone has cars and do not use public transit, it wil definitely ruin environment as emissions of harmful gases from cars is a matter of concern. Additionally, If people rely on technological kitchen devices, it will result in less physical activities. To conclude, I believe that merits of this approach surpasses its demerits.
Technology has sparked off in every field of life and
hence
, everyone wants to acquire their
own
technological appliances from transportation to communication. This approach has both optimistic and pessimistic aspects.
However
, I believe that it is more advantageous. Advancement in technology has brought enormous merits. As regards communicating information,
rather
than conversing face to face,
people
prefer to
use
electronic gadgets to do
so
which not
only
helps
to strengthen the
globalisation
but
also
saves the time of individuals.
Moreover
, inventions such as television has assisted masses to access information globally. Apart from that,
cars
not
only
provide comfort to the users
but
also
give the opportunity to explore other places which are away from their host areas and
thus
, it has culminated in the growth of tourism.
Furthermore
, in the past, women had to perform all the household chores
manually
.
However
, kitchen gadgets,
for instance
, microwave, fridge and washing machine, saves
a lot of
time of housewives and
therefore
, they can
use
the same time by spending with their children
fruitfully
. Although this concern has several pros, cons of this cannot
be neglected
. Living a sedentary lifestyle has become a burning question of the day as individuals,
especially
youngsters, are always glued to television and do
binge watching
and
hence
, they have become couch potatoes. This has resulted in the high rate of obesity which is detrimental to their health.
In addition
, dependency on
cars
js
also
hazardous. If everyone has
cars
and do not
use
public transit, it
wil
definitely ruin environment as emissions of harmful gases from
cars
is a matter of concern.
Additionally
, If
people
rely on technological kitchen devices, it will result in less physical activities.
To conclude
, I believe that merits of this approach surpasses its demerits.
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IELTS essay It is suggested that everyone should have a car, a television and a fridge. Do disadvantages of this development for society outweigh advantages?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
294 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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