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It is inevitable that as technology advances, traditional cultures will be lost. It seems that we cannot have these two things together. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is inevitable that as technology advances, traditional cultures will be lost. It seems that we cannot have these two things together. Axbx
It is indeed undeniable that technology has been playing an integral role in human beings lives for the last few decades. Therefore, many people contend that many cultures will lose their significance in the future due to the advent of digitalization and globalization, while others feel that, including me, that technology and culture can co-exist. To begin with, people who believe that technology will vanish some cultural values. They may consider family value which has been ending up due to mobile and internet technology. Since most people give preference to spend their time with online friends instead of sitting with their own family members, this reduces communication between families. Thus, technology has not only impacted the relationships, but also traditional, culture and family values. However, on the other hand, with the usage of the internet conventional products are gaining recognition even internationally. Many handicraft products and merchandise manufactured by tribal areas can be purchased from anywhere around the globe, and many entrepreneurs have come forward to market these things. To be more specific, handmade carpets of India are easily available on e-commerce sites such as Amazon and Flipkart, and the sale of handmade carpets are rising day by day, which means people still love to buy traditional items and technology has made it easier to buy it from anywhere around the globe. In conclusion, there is no doubt that technology has a great influence on our life, therefore it argued by some it can put an end to cultural values. But I believe that technology is assisting to promote traditional values to a large extent, and they can go together to make our life more comfortable
It is
indeed
undeniable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has been playing an integral role in human beings
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
for the last few decades.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
contend that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cultures will lose their significance in the future due to the advent of digitalization and globalization, while others feel that, including me, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and culture can co-exist.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
will vanish
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cultural values. They may consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
which has been ending up due to mobile and internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. Since most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
give preference to spend their time with online friends
instead
of sitting with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
communication between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
impacted the relationships,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
traditional, culture and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
values.

However
,
on the other hand
, with the usage of the internet conventional products are gaining recognition even
internationally
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
handicraft products and merchandise manufactured by tribal areas can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
from anywhere around the globe, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
entrepreneurs have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
forward to market these things. To be more specific, handmade carpets of India are
easily
available on e-commerce sites such as Amazon and Flipkart, and the sale of handmade carpets are rising day by day, which means
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
traditional items and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has made it easier to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
it from anywhere around the globe.

In conclusion
, there is no doubt that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has a great influence on our life,
therefore
it argued by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
it can put an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
to cultural values.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is assisting to promote traditional values to a large extent, and they can go together to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our life more
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
comfortable
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IELTS essay It is inevitable that as technology advances, traditional cultures will be lost. It seems that we cannot have these two things together.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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