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It is important to keep your old friend than making new friends

It is important to keep your old friend than making new friends YL35n
Friends are most important in our life in every happy situation or in bad condition. Everyone make new friends according to their needs and situation. Some of the people believe that we should not make new friends and always need to stay with only old friends. Though we should stay in touch with new friends but I believe in making new friends as well. I am not concurred with the idea of only keeping old friends and firm believe that we have to show our friendly behavior and make new friends as we go to different place. I will develop these ideas in the subsequent paragraph. To begin with, people transfer one place to another and they can not stay with their old friends as they have to move because of their job, study or in any circumstances. Though they may be close to our heart but when it is about physical presence they can not be there. Only virtual presence can not complete their presence. Ultimately, new friends are needed for this situation. I have to admit that my opinion on this matter has been profoundly influenced by my own personal experience. About two years ago, when I left my country for my further study, I was really unknown about the place. Furthermore, I did not know where to go for grocery and stores. But when I met a friend who was staying in my apartment, She fully supported me in every difficulty and it helped me to be familiar with university and daily activities. As a result, I did not face more trouble that international students face. Secondly, making new friend ease us to understand various cultures, languages, society and places. Because of the cross culture and socialization, people can adjust themselves in different society which helps to build confident and personal growth. On the other hand, it increases our knowledge about people and society. As a result, people can communicate with each other and it develops harmony in society. Drawing from my own experience, Before five years, when I left my hometown for university, I met with a different community people then me in language, culture and many more. Majority of the people used to talk in their language. It was difficult for me to speak. But when I made a friend from same community, it encouraged me to learn their language, culture. Fortunately, within two months, I learned and adopted every sector of their society. Finally, they started to accept me in their community, more than that I got chances to share mine as well. In light of above mentioned reasons. I strongly support the idea of making new friends to take help and to learn many more ideas about different society culture and people which may not be possible by our old friends because of the different circumstances.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Friends
are most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in our life in every happy situation or in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
condition. Everyone
Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "makes".
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
according to their needs and situation.
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
Some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that we should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
and always need to stay with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. Though we should stay in touch with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I believe in making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
as well
. I am not concurred with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
idea
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
and firm believe that we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
our friendly behavior and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
as we go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
. I will develop these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideas
in the subsequent paragraph.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
transfer one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
to
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
another and
they can not stay with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
as they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their job, study or in any circumstances. Though they may be close to our heart
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
when it is about physical presence they can not be there.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
virtual presence can not complete their presence.
Ultimately
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
are needed
for this situation. I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
admit that my opinion on this matter has been
profoundly
influenced by my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
personal experience. About two years ago, when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
my country for my
further
study, I was
really
unknown about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
.
Furthermore
, I did not know where to go for grocery and stores.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
when I met a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
who was staying in my apartment, She
fully
supported me in every difficulty and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me to be familiar with university and daily activities.
As a result
, I did not face more trouble that international students face.

Secondly
, making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
us to understand various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the cross
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and socialization,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can adjust themselves in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to build confident and personal growth.
On the other hand
, it increases our knowledge about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can communicate with each other and it develops harmony in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. Drawing from my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
experience,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
five years, when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
my hometown for university, I met with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
then me in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more. Majority of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to talk in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
. It was difficult for me to speak.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
when I made a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
from same community, it encouraged me to learn their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
.
Fortunately
, within two months, I learned and adopted every sector of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
Finally
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to accept me in their community, more than that I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
chances to share mine
as well
.

In light of above mentioned reasons. I
strongly
support the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
idea
of making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
to take
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
and to learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideas
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
which may not be possible by our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
circumstances.
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IELTS essay It is important to keep your old friend than making new friends

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
473 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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