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Is prison a good punishment.Discuss

Is prison a good punishment. Discuss waeRY
In many countries the determinated law against criminals is prison. Police arrest them and according to the type and violence level of their crime, the court administers the prison punishment for them. Many people believe that prison is the best retribution for those who commit a crime however I firmly oppose. In this essay I will explain my point of view. After criminals get into jail their retribution period begin. In this situation there are numerous jobless and impractical people into the prisons who government provides their expenditures. This is not affordable for the country and society. There doesn't exist sufficient work force to do manual jobs; the jobs that are extremely durable and typical citizens would never do them، for instance working in mines, green the desserts, etc. Government can use these forces to build up the country. Authorities are allowed to reduce the retribution years in accordance to the difficulty of their jobs. Needless to say that the physical environment in prisons is not in a way that can help prisoners to become more effective person in the society in future. Criminals in jails are surrounded by other criminals and this leads to raise crime rate. Various types of crimes have been committed inside the jail for example robbery, violence against persons, sexual offences. A prisoner with a minor crime, for example: shoplifting is more at risk inside the prisons. So I personally believe that prison punishment is not practical and it won't work. However many people argue that incarcerate lawbreakers inside a particular place and deprive them from communicate with outside world can be most reasonable penalty. For instance psychologically an individual's isolation and its social exclusion can causes irrecoverable mental problems, including: depression, anxiety disorders, behavioral and emotional disorders which can be unbearable and painful for the rest of the person's life. All in all there exist two opposite point of view regarding this issue which I analysed in this essay. Some people believe that the prison is a suitable punishment for wrongdoers which transmute them into a new man and make a new identity for them. Even so I fo not believe in prison punishment for the causes that I brought up namely: high-risk atmosphere of prisons particularly for minor criminals and numerous imppraticible prisoners who governments provide their expenses without any impressive benefits for the society.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries the
Possible spelling mistake found.
determinated
law against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
. Police arrest them and according to the type and violence level of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
, the court administers the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
for them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
is the best retribution for those who commit a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
however
I
firmly
oppose. In this essay I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
my point of view.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into jail their retribution period
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
. In this situation there are numerous jobless and impractical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisons
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
provides their expenditures. This is not affordable for the country and society. There doesn't exist sufficient work force to do manual jobs; the jobs that are
extremely
durable and typical citizens would never do
Possible spelling mistake found.
them،
for instance
working in mines, green the desserts, etc.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
these forces to build up the country. Authorities are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the retribution years in accordance to the difficulty of their jobs.

Needless to say that the physical environment in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisons
is not in a way that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
prisoners to become more effective person in the society
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Criminals
in jails
are surrounded
by other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
and this leads to raise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate. Various types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
have
been committed
inside the jail
for example
robbery, violence against persons, sexual
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
. A prisoner with a minor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
,
for example
: shoplifting is more at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
inside the prisons.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I
personally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is not practical and it won't work.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that incarcerate lawbreakers inside a particular place and
The usual collocation for "deprive" is "of" not "them". Did you mean "deprive them of"?
deprive them from
communicate with outside world can be
Did you mean "the most"?
most
reasonable penalty.
For instance
psychologically
an individual's isolation and its social exclusion can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "cause"
causes
irrecoverable mental problems, including: depression, anxiety disorders, behavioral and emotional disorders which can be unbearable and painful for the rest of the person's life.

All in all there exist two opposite point of view regarding this issue which I
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysed' is British English.
analysed
in this essay.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
is a suitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
for wrongdoers which transmute them into a new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a new identity for them. Even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I
Possible spelling mistake found.
fo
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
for the causes that I brought up
namely
: high-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
atmosphere of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisons
particularly
for minor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
and numerous
Possible spelling mistake found.
imppraticible
prisoners who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
provide their expenses without any impressive benefits for the society.
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IELTS essay Is prison a good punishment. Discuss

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
392 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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