Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

International sporting events promote peace between countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Healthy sports competition is one of the many ways of creating friendly relations among countries. While many believe that international sports might not be beneficial in any manner, I side with those who opine that it promotes peace among nations due to a variety of reasons. Firstly, when a nation hosts a major sports competition, many authorities from other countries come forward to support the host. While I concede that the majority of the expenses are borne by the host country, financial aids from foreign governments provide a boost to event preparations. Take the Commonwealth games hosted by India in 2010, for example. The Australian government extended their help in the form of interest free flexible loans to the Indian government. As a result, I believe that such events strengthen the rapport between two countries. Another reason is that foreign sportsmen become the host country’s ambassadors. When they arrive to participate in the the events from foreign countries, how we treat their athletes becomes the way these countries perceive the host nation. If they were treated with utmost respect and professionalism, they would leave happy. When these athletes are interviewed in their home countries, they might share their positive experiences. Finally, these events attract a lot of international tourists and if they are treated well, it will improve the relationships of their country with the host country. Some suggest that many tourists have preconceived thoughts about other countries which are hard to change. However, when they have a good time in the host country, their perception changes and they might even encourage their friends to visit the host nation in future. As a result, this helps in improving the relations between nations. To conclude, not only do such events improve relations between countries when they show support to each other, it also sweetens the relation between citizens of different countries. Therefore, I strongly believe that international sporting events promote peace and brotherhood.
Healthy sports competition is one of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways of creating friendly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relations
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
believe that international sports might not be beneficial in any manner, I side with those who opine that it promotes peace among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
due to a variety of reasons.

Firstly
, when a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hosts
a major sports competition,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
authorities from other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
forward to support the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
host
. While I concede that the majority of the expenses
are borne
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, financial aids from foreign
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
provide a boost to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
preparations. Take the
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Commonwealth games
hosted by India in 2010,
for example
. The Australian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
extended their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in the form of interest free flexible loans to the Indian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
As a result
, I believe that such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
strengthen the rapport between two countries.

Another reason is that foreign sportsmen become the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
ambassadors. When they arrive to participate in
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only “the” or “the” is left.
the the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
from foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, how we treat their athletes becomes the way these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
perceive the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
. If they
were treated
with utmost respect and professionalism, they would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
happy. When these athletes
are interviewed
in their home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, they might share their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
experiences.
Finally
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
attract
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
international tourists and if they
are treated
well, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the relationships of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
host
country.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
suggest that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
tourists have preconceived thoughts about other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
which are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.
However
, when they have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
time in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, their perception
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
changes and
they might even encourage their friends to visit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
The phrase ‘in future’ is British English. Did you mean: “in the future”?
in future
.
As a result
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in improving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relations
between nations.

To conclude
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
do such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relations
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
support to each other, it
also
sweetens the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relation
between citizens of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Therefore
, I
strongly
believe that international sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
promote peace and brotherhood.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay International sporting events promote peace between countries.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
322 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts