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Integrated Writing: Conflict approach and fulfillment approach

Integrated Writing: Conflict approach and fulfillment approach RN0xW
The reading passage and the lecture are both about the human personality. The reading passage describes about the conflict approach which is based on idea that every person is in state of conflict. The lecturer refutes to the idea presented in the reading and describes human life by fulfillment approach. Firstly, the reading passage believes that in conflict approach human are always in the state of conflict in everyday life. The lecturer posits to this idea. He argues that life is not only about the conflict between the battling forces rather, in fulfillment approach, life is a force towards fulfillment and bringing satisfaction in humans life. Secondly, the reading passage argues that life is never ending series of conflict from the birth to death. It states that personality develops by managing the conflicts. However, the lecturer casts doubt about this. The lecturer argues that personality is shaped by the image of a person. Moreover, the personality is shaped by fulfillment of desire and by the success and failure that comes along with it. Finally, the reading passage suggests that everyone deals conflict in various ways and the difference to manage conflict makes the personality differ. The lecturer is against this view-point and argues life is fulfilling the personal goals and personality is shaped by the way how each person manage to attain that goals in life.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passage
and the lecture are both about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personality
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describes
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conflict
approach which
is based
on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that every person is in state of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conflict
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lecturer
refutes to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
presented in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fulfillment
approach.

Firstly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passage
believes that in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conflict
approach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
are always in the state of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conflict
in everyday
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lecturer
posits to this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
. He
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argues
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conflict
between the battling forces
rather
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fulfillment
approach,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is a force towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fulfillment
and bringing satisfaction in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
life.

Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argues
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is never ending series of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conflict
from the birth to death. It states that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personality
develops by managing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conflicts
.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lecturer
casts doubt about this. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lecturer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argues
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personality
is shaped
by the image of a person.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personality
is shaped
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fulfillment
of desire and by the success and failure that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
along with it.

Finally
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passage
suggests that everyone deals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conflict
in various ways and the difference to manage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conflict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personality
differ. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lecturer
is against this view-point and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argues
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is fulfilling the personal goals and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personality
is shaped
by the way how each person manage to attain that goals in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
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IELTS essay Integrated Writing: Conflict approach and fulfillment approach

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
226 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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