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Independence from parents

Independence from parents xmbLQ
Questions surrounding whether young people should gain independence from their parents as early as is feasible have been ongoing in recent years, especially after the development of technology, which has generated a great difference between the younger generation and the older one. While some people believe that parents should take care of their children for a long time before they become independent, others believe that young people's independence has to be obtained as soon as possible. In my opinion, becoming independent soon is better: I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay. First, taking responsibility for their own life makes young people mature and self-confident. If parents are always available to solve their issues, they will never learn how to behave in our society and how to face life problems autonomously. Besides, being independent does not mean only starting your own life, but it also means becoming independent of your parents-from an economical point of view. In my opinion, people have to begin working as soon as possible so that they can understand how saving money is important and valuable. For instance, my father got a job when he was in his twenties since my grandparents did not have enough money: he diligently earned money and never asked his parents for money. If he had not gotten a job when he was young, he would have been a burden for his family and he would also have never developed some skills, such as hard work and patience. Thus, independence from (and of) parents is extremely important for young people's individual development. Second, being independent is more efficient since staying with you family for a long time can be counterproductive. In fact, even though your parents give you everything you need and therefore you live safely without caring about working, your parents can negatively influence you. In particular, they can decide for your life since they think to help you, but they are actually harming your personality. Another issue that can arise if young people live with their parents is when the younger and the older generations discuss about the technology. For instance, my parents are anti-technological and conservative and so they do not like that I use some technological devices. I only visit them in summer, but I believe that if I had to live with them for a longer time, we would have troublesome discussions, and this could be harmful. All in all, this essay discussed why young people have to become independent as soon as possible. This is because they can become more mature and because they can avoid having problems with their family.
Questions surrounding whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should gain independence from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
as early as is feasible have been ongoing in recent years,
especially
after the development of technology, which has generated a great difference between the younger generation and the older one. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should take care of their children for a long time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
independent
, others believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's independence
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be obtained
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
soon
as possible. In my opinion, becoming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
independent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
soon
is better: I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.

First
, taking responsibility for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
mature and self-confident. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are always available to solve their issues, they will never learn how to behave in our society and how to face
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
problems
autonomously
.
Besides
, being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
independent
does not mean
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
starting your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
means becoming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
independent
of your parents-from an economical point of view. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
working as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
soon
as possible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can understand how saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and valuable.
For instance
, my father
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a job when he was in his twenties since my grandparents did not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
: he
diligently
earned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and never asked his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. If he had not gotten a job when he was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
, he would have been a burden for his
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
family and
he would
also
have never developed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, such as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work and patience.
Thus
, independence from (and of)
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
is
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's individual development.

Second, being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
independent
is more efficient since staying with you family for a long time can be counterproductive. In fact,
even though
your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
give you everything you need and
therefore
you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
safely
without caring about working, your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can
negatively
influence you.
In particular
, they can decide for your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
since they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they are actually harming your personality. Another issue that can arise if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
is when the younger and the older generations
Did you mean simply "discuss the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about the
technology.
For instance
, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are anti-technological and
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
conservative and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they do not like that I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
technological devices. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
visit them in summer,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I believe that if I had to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with them for a longer time, we would have troublesome discussions, and this could be harmful.

All in all, this essay discussed why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
independent
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
soon
as possible. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can become more mature and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can avoid having problems with their family.
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IELTS essay Independence from parents

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
443 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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