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In your opinion. what has been the most sign!flcant transportation tnrwvatton of the past 200 years?

In your opinion. what has been the most sign! flcant transportation tnrwvatton of the past 200 years? gEmO
Over the past two centuries human life have seen a lot of changes and improvements due to a large number of inventions introduced by scientists and inventors. These technological improvements led to growing population and forming big cities. People living in these cities required many forms of transportation systems. And that’s where many innovators starts to think about these requirements. Despite a lot of innovation like bicycles, cars and trains, in my opinion air planes are the most significant transportation innovations. Firstly, flying is exciting. Since a long time ago flying was a dream for human kind. The wright brothers were the first innovators that made this dream come true. After their invention it took decades for air planes to become a popular transportation vehicle. Not only the first use of air plane as a transportation system was a big exciting experience for human kind but also even nowadays the first flight experience for anyone is full of fun. Secondly, air planes are fast. We live in an era that time is the most valuable thing. Whether you want to go to a business trip or go to a vacation you probably want to get there as fast as possible. And air planes by far are the fastest vehicle to travel with. Although some advance trains nowadays can reach nearly the speed of airplanes but one of the most advantages of airplanes is that they can go from one point to another point in a straight line. In fact the physical shape of the earth, and obstacles like mountains and valleys don’t affect their traveling direction. So they travel the minimum distance to their target. At last, I am of the idea that airplanes are the most important innovation in transportation systems. The experience of flight is and will ever be extraordinary and with airplanes you reach your destination as fast as possible.
Over the past two centuries human life have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
and improvements due to
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
inventions introduced by scientists and inventors. These technological improvements led to growing population and forming
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
living in these cities required
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
forms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
systems. And that’s where
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
innovators
You should probably use "start".
starts
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about these requirements. Despite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
innovation like bicycles, cars and trains, in my opinion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
planes
are the most significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
innovations.

Firstly
, flying is exciting. Since a long time ago flying was a dream for human kind. The wright brothers were the
first
innovators that made this dream
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
true. After their invention it took decades for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
planes
to become a popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
vehicle. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
first
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plane
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
system was a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
exciting experience for human kind
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
even nowadays the
first
flight experience for anyone is full of fun.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
planes
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in an era that time is the most valuable thing. Whether you want to go to a business trip or go to a vacation you
probably
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
there as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
as possible. And
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
planes
by far are the fastest vehicle to travel with. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advance trains nowadays can reach
nearly
the speed of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
airplanes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
one of the most advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
airplanes
is that they can go from one point to another point in a straight line. In fact the physical shape of the earth, and obstacles like mountains and valleys don’t affect their traveling direction.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they travel the minimum distance to their target.

At last, I am of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
airplanes
are the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
innovation in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
systems. The experience of flight is and will ever be extraordinary and with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
airplanes
you reach your destination as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
as possible.
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IELTS essay In your opinion. what has been the most sign! flcant transportation tnrwvatton of the past 200 years?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
313 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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