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In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message? kYYY2
In some cultures, Children are often told that they can get anything if they try hard enough. Is it right always? No matter how hard a child tries to get something he desires, he would not get it if that was not meant to be achieved by him. Maybe someone was more deserving. Many times money plays and important role in the journey of life. Many hard turns are forced to be taken because of the shortage of money. Maybe child put his best to achieve his goal but luck was not as strong as his hard work and so there is a slight possibility of hard work might not bring success. Telling a kid to work hard in the early age may make his mindset positive and it may bring positive results when he grows up. It is important to tell children such things. Motivated children tend to dream big and if we play the role of a correct motivator and tell them nothing is impossible to achieve if you work hard. The child will dream big and achieve big with all the hard work he can do. Children will never lose hopes in their lives and will always try level best to get something they desire to achieve. In conclusion, children must be told no matter how many times you fail, stand strong and work hard until you achieve your ultimate goal. Children must be taught how life works and how hard work will help them forever in their lives.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cultures,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
anything if they try
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
. Is it right
The adverb 'always' is usually not used at the end of a sentence.
always
?

No matter how
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hard
a child tries to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
something he desires, he would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
it if that was not meant to
be achieved
by him. Maybe someone was more deserving.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
times money plays and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in the journey of life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
turns
are forced
to
be taken
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the shortage of money. Maybe child put his best to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
his goal
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
luck was not as strong as his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
there is a slight possibility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
might not bring success.

Telling a kid to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
in the early age may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
his mindset
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and it may bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
results when he grows up. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
such things. Motivated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
tend to dream
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
and if we play the role of a correct motivator and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
them nothing is impossible to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
if you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
. The child will dream
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
with all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
he can do.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
will never lose hopes in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and will always try level best to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
something they desire to achieve.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
no matter how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
times you fail, stand strong and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
until you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
your ultimate goal.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be taught
how life works and how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them forever in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
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IELTS essay In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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