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In some countries, the number of people suffering from health problems because of excess consumption of junk food, is increasing. It has, therefore, become imperative for government to impose a higher tax on this kind of food.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, the number of people suffering from health problems because of excess consumption of junk food, is increasing. It has, therefore, become imperative for government to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. YwV9r
It is a common belief that, nowadays, in a number of communities, more and more people are facing numerous health-related issues due to overconsumption of fast foods, which is thought to be tackled by means of increasing the tax of these foods. In my opinion, I completely disagree with this view for several reasons. On the one hand, it is supposed that the states should enact a higher tax on unhealthy junk food to fall health problems in the population. This would probably encourage humans to take more kinds of healthy food options, however, the rich will still have enough money to buy many kinds of unhealthy foods. Moreover, apart from processed foods, there are also a number of factors leading to individuals' unhealthiness. As an example, if obesity is caused mainly by inactivity and not too much by fast-food consumption, a fat tax might be quite ineffective. Therefore, I believe that there are other more effective measures than the way to impose a higher tax on these foods. On the other hand, I think some solutions had better be applied in order to reduce humans' well-being problems. To begin with, the government would provide numerous spaces such as gym rooms, parks, sports centers to encourage citizens to do exercise. Furthermore, It is necessary for the community to improve the quality of the healthcare systems like hospitals, medicals. Last but not least people should also change from fast food eating habits to a healthy lifestyle. For instance, instead of going out for meals, citizens could stay at home and cook several delicious and nutritious cuisines, which will be better for their well-being. In conclusion, while in some nations, the politicians have a tendency to increase junk food tax to better citizens' unhealthiness, I support the idea that various other measures regarding facilities, healthcare, good lifestyle would tackle this issue as well or better than raising fat tax
It is a common belief that, nowadays, in a number of communities, more and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are facing numerous health-related issues due to overconsumption of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
, which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
to
be tackled
by means of increasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
. In my opinion, I completely disagree with this view for several reasons.

On the one hand, it
is supposed
that the states should enact a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
on unhealthy junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
to fall health problems in the population. This would
probably
encourage humans to take more kinds of healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
options,
however
, the rich will
still
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
kinds of unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
.
Moreover
, apart from processed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
, there are
also
a number of factors leading to individuals' unhealthiness. As an example, if obesity
is caused
mainly
by inactivity and not too much by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-food consumption, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
might be quite ineffective.
Therefore
, I believe that there are other more effective measures than the way to impose a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
on these foods.

On the other hand
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions had
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
be applied
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
humans' well-being problems. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
would provide numerous spaces such as gym rooms, parks, sports centers to encourage citizens to do exercise.
Furthermore
, It is necessary for the community to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the quality of the healthcare systems like hospitals, medicals. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not
A determiner is probably missing here: "the least".
least
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
eating habits to a healthy lifestyle.
For instance
,
instead
of going out for meals, citizens could stay at home and cook several delicious and nutritious cuisines, which will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
for their well-being.

In conclusion
, while in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
nations, the politicians have a tendency to increase junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
citizens' unhealthiness, I support the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that various other measures regarding facilities, healthcare,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
lifestyle would tackle this issue
as well
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
than raising
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
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IELTS essay In some countries, the number of people suffering from health problems because of excess consumption of junk food, is increasing. It has, therefore, become imperative for government to impose a higher tax on this kind of food.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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  • In some countries, the number of people suffering from health problems because of excess consumption of junk food, is increasing. It has, therefore, become imperative for government to impose a higher tax on this kind of food.To what extent do you agree or disagree?