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In some countries, only few young people go to classical music concerts or or play classical music. Why? Should young people be encouraged to attend and learn more?

Many people throughout the world regarded music as an entertainment sector for their life. There are many various types of music like classical, pop, hip-hop and so on. The choice of favorite music may be different depend on people's satisfaction and mind. In some nations, very little proportion of young people like classical music for many different reasons. In this essay, I will outline the two main reasons why only few young people prefer to go classical music concerts or play classical music. The first option is that most of the classical music is song by ancient singers with gentle voice which is likely to lazy for young people. Therefore, some young people assume that classical music does not fit with their favorite. The second factor may be music instruments that used in classical music concerts are considerably different with modern concerts. Many young people would like to listen the modern fantastic songs played by electric guitar to change their mood. On the other hand, elderly people should be encouraged young people to attend classical music concerts or play classical music. For instance, they should take young people together when they go classical concerts. It is the best way to preserve traditional culture as well as classical music culture. Furthermore, the relationship between youth and older generation would build more firmly. In conclusion, I have no right to decide whether young people should like classical music or not. It depends on personal favorite. In my opinion, young people sometimes should go to classical music concerts together with family to learn classical music.
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people
throughout the world regarded
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music
as an entertainment sector for their life. There are
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many
various types of
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music
like
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classical
, pop, hip-hop and
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so
on. The choice of favorite
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music
may be
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different
depend on
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people
's satisfaction and mind. In
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some
nations,
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very
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little
proportion of
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young
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people
like
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classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
reasons.

In this essay, I will outline the two main reasons why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to go
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classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concerts
or play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
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music
. The
first
option is that most of the
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classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is song by ancient singers with gentle voice which is likely to lazy for
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young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Therefore
,
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some
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young
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people
assume that
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classical
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music
does not fit with their favorite. The second factor may be
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music
instruments that
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used
in
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classical
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music
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concerts
are
considerably
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
with modern
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concerts
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would like to listen the modern fantastic songs played by electric guitar to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their mood.

On the other hand
, elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
be encouraged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concerts
or play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
.
For instance
, they should take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
together when they go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concerts
. It is the best way to preserve traditional culture
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
culture.
Furthermore
, the relationship between youth and older generation would build more
firmly
.

In conclusion
, I have no right to decide whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
or not. It depends on personal favorite. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
should go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concerts
together with family to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
.

IELTS essay In some countries, only few young people go to classical music concerts or or play classical music. Why? Should young people be encouraged to attend and learn more?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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