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In some countries in Europe, some children from the age of 11 or 13 go to schools to learn more practical skills that will help them get a job. Other children stay in schools which provide a more general academic education. What should schools do to prepare students for the world of work?

In some countries in Europe, some children from the age of 11 or 13 go to schools to learn more practical skills that will help them get a job. Other children stay in schools which provide a more general academic education. What should schools do to prepare students for the world of work? LrlE3
We are living in 20th century and the world is changing so rapidly. Youngsters in Europe are learning more practical skills as compare to other children stay in schools to gain more general education in search of future jobs. Schools needs to help them get ready for their future competators. First of all i would like to shed some light on the little steps school needs to take like they can help students find their interests so that they can focus on every child in different way. These days education is a basic commodity for indivisual to get successed in there lifes. Everyone is dissimiliar some of them might be visual learner where on the other side some are kinesthetic. Visual learners are the ones you grasps things by visualizing the topics practically and kinesthetic is a learning style in which students try to perform the activity by themselves so that they never forget that. Moreover, by gaining their personal interests school staff can divide them on their learning style and can focus on their future job possibilties. Adding to this they should also have some classes about their basic personal habits, good motivational speechand some true things about the life. To conclude, i would like to say that education is important no matter what the case is and the learning style totally depends on the child because everyone is different but according to me thereshould be proper balance between both the learning styles practice skills and general lecture classes.
We are living in 20th century and the world is changing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
rapidly
. Youngsters in Europe are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
more practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
as compare to other children stay in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
to gain more general education in search of future jobs.
Possible agreement error. You should probably use: "school needs".
Schools needs
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
ready for their future
Possible spelling mistake found.
competators
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
Did you mean "I"?
i
would like to shed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
light on the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
steps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
needs to take like they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
students find their interests
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can focus on every child in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
way. These
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "days'" or "day's"?
days
education is a basic commodity for
Possible spelling mistake found.
indivisual
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Possible spelling mistake found.
successed
in there
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "lives", the plural form of the noun 'life'?
lifes
. Everyone is
Possible spelling mistake found.
dissimiliar
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them might be visual learner where on the other side
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
are kinesthetic. Visual learners are the ones you
The pronoun 'you' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "grasp"
grasps
things by visualizing the topics
practically
and kinesthetic is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
in which students try to perform the activity by themselves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they never forget that.
Moreover
, by gaining their personal interests
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
staff can divide them on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
and can focus on their future job
Possible spelling mistake found.
possibilties
. Adding to this they should
also
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
classes about their basic personal habits,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
motivational
Possible spelling mistake found.
speechand
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
true things about the life.
To conclude
,
Did you mean "I"?
i
would like to say that education is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
no matter what the case is and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
totally
depends on the child
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
everyone is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
according to me
Possible spelling mistake found.
thereshould
be proper balance between both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
styles
practice
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and general lecture classes.
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IELTS essay In some countries in Europe, some children from the age of 11 or 13 go to schools to learn more practical skills that will help them get a job. Other children stay in schools which provide a more general academic education. What should schools do to prepare students for the world of work?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
250 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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