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In many places, shopping is the leisure time activity for young adults. Why is it so? Do you think it is a negative or a positive development?

In many places, shopping is the leisure time activity for young adults. Why is it so? Do you think it is a negative or a positive development? 7aAk6
Shopping has become a most favourable activity for teenagers to spend their time in many natioms. There are several reasons for this trend and also some positive influences on society as well as country's development. I have explained both the aspects in the ensuing paragraph. To begin with, youth are more amd more shop vorious things. The most important reason is varieties of commodities By this, I meam that lange collection of commodities available in different colors, features and with latest technology. For example, youngster always willing to buy new mobile becouse every month there are new devices which has more features than old one. In addition, advertising plays vital role for surging this trend. commercial encourage adult to buy more things as adverts show the product in better way and also use actors for promoting products. There are some benefits of this trend. The foremost advantage on nation is that if youmg people purchase more things, it encourage the local businesses and also attract foreign companies to established the new business in the country. This leads to strong economic and less unemployment. To wrapup the discussion, it can be finally commented that collection of up to date commodity and advertising surge the shopping habits in young people which can have positive influences on economic development of country.
Shopping has become a most
favourable
activity for
teenagers
to spend their time in
many
natioms
. There are several reasons for this trend and
also
some
positive
influences on society
as well
as country's development. I have
explained
both the aspects in the ensuing paragraph.

To
begin
with, youth are more
amd
more shop
vorious
things. The most
important
reason is varieties of commodities By this, I
meam
that
lange
collection of commodities available in
different
colors, features and with
latest
technology.
For example
, youngster always willing to
buy
new mobile
becouse
every month there are new devices which has more features than
old
one.
In addition
, advertising plays vital role for surging this trend.
commercial
encourage adult to
buy
more things as adverts
show
the product in better way and
also
use
actors for promoting products.

There are
some
benefits of this trend. The foremost advantage on nation is that if
youmg
people
purchase
more things, it
encourage
the local businesses and
also
attract foreign
companies
to established
the new business in the country. This leads to strong economic and less unemployment.

To
wrapup
the discussion, it can be
finally
commented that collection of up to date commodity and advertising surge the shopping habits in young
people
which can have
positive
influences on economic development of country.
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IELTS essay In many places, shopping is the leisure time activity for young adults. Why is it so? Do you think it is a negative or a positive development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
218 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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