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In Many Countries Small Shops And Town Centers Are Going Out Of Business Because People Tend To Drive To The Large Out Of Town Stores This Results In An Increase In Car Use And It Also Means That People Without Cars Have Limited Access To Out Of Town Stor v.2

In Many Countries Small Shops And Town Centers Are Going Out Of Business Because People Tend To Drive To The Large Out Of Town Stores This Results In An Increase In Car Use And It Also Means That People Without Cars Have Limited Access To Out Of Town Stor v. 2
Evidence suggests that a growing number of people in many countries over the world tend to purchase their goods from The Large Out-Of-Town Stores instead of Town Centers. This phenomenon causes the widespread use of cars and bankruptcy of small shops. Although there are a number of drawbacks involved in this trend, I personally believe the benefits are far more. On the plus side, the advantages for the people flocking to large stores in the suburbs are manifold. To begin with, the large scale malls provide individuals with an instant and high-quality of shopping experience. Simply put, they lay the groundwork for the offering an easy access to vast majority of goods that would cater for people’s needs such as cloths, foods, and toys and so on. In addition, with considering that shopping process is a time-consuming and tedious activity, the people who opt to these shopping centers for purchasing, can benefit from a wide variety of recreational facilities such as restaurants, coffee shops, cinema and playgrounds for children and would spend a quality time with their families. These places, furthermore, usually allocate a wide space for parking compared with the small shops in town centers that can mitigate the problem of traffic jams. However, the downside cannot be ignored. The most axiomatic argument is concerned with the consumption of fuels. That is to say, because the large shopping malls are located in the countryside, people are willing to use their own car. As the number of cars rises, the demand for more fossil fuels increases, which cause more pollution as well as the depletion of the world resources. This in turn can cause irreparable damage to the environment. To conclude, in my personal opinion, although driving outwards to large out of town stores might have some disadvantages, the merits are more prominent.
Evidence suggests that a growing number of
people
in
many
countries over the world tend to
purchase
their
goods
from The
Large
Out-Of-Town Stores
instead
of Town Centers. This phenomenon causes the widespread
use
of cars and bankruptcy of
small
shops. Although there are a number of drawbacks involved in this trend, I
personally
believe the benefits are far more.

On the plus side, the advantages for the
people
flocking to
large
stores in the suburbs are manifold. To
begin
with, the
large
scale malls provide individuals with an instant and high-quality of
shopping
experience.
Simply
put, they lay the groundwork for the offering
an easy access
to
vast majority of
goods
that would cater for
people’s
needs such as cloths, foods, and toys and
so
on.
In addition
, with considering that
shopping
process is a time-consuming and tedious activity, the
people
who opt to these
shopping
centers for purchasing, can benefit from a wide variety of recreational facilities such as restaurants, coffee shops, cinema and playgrounds for children and would spend a quality time with their families. These places,
furthermore
,
usually
allocate a wide space for parking compared with the
small
shops in town centers that can mitigate the problem of traffic jams.

However
, the downside cannot be
ignored
. The most axiomatic argument
is concerned
with the consumption of fuels.
That is
to say,
because
the
large
shopping
malls
are located
in the countryside,
people
are willing to
use
their
own
car. As the number of cars rises, the demand for more fossil fuels increases, which cause more pollution
as well
as the depletion of the world resources. This in turn can cause irreparable damage to the environment.

To conclude
, in my personal opinion, although driving outwards to
large
out of town
stores might have
some
disadvantages, the merits are more prominent.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay In Many Countries Small Shops And Town Centers Are Going Out Of Business Because People Tend To Drive To The Large Out Of Town Stores This Results In An Increase In Car Use And It Also Means That People Without Cars Have Limited Access To Out Of Town Stor v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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