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In many countries, people wear more western-style clothes(suits and jeans) than their traditional clothes. Why? Is it a positive or negative development?

In several countries, People love to wear a modern dress than the traditional dress. In my point of view, fashion dress has both positive and negative effects. However its advantages overweight disadvantages. First, the modern costume is more comfortable than the traditional one and it is easy to wash the modern dress. The modern dress always time-consuming and easy to wear. To get a good look in traditional appearance, extra cosmetics are needed. for example, wearing a jeans top is easy than a saree. Second, people prefer modern dress for fashion. Nowadays, all people like to wear the fashion dress for parties as a dress code is mandatory to enter. for instance, a dress code like black jeans and a white top is a favorite dress code for getting together. The latest design of modern cloth attracts customers to buy the product. Advertisement about the last design of cloth in social media attracts the people nowadays and they are ready to buy the new trend of dress to show their status. For a special occasion like Valentine's day, college farewells, birth parties young adults love to wear the same kind of red dress to expose their love. The traditional dress always helps to follow our culture and good looking and it covers the entire body than a modern dress. Even though it has a positive side, people love to be trend and style so they prefer modern dress. Most people like to wear a variety of dress styles. In my opinion, Currently, shopping dress is also one of the hobbies for working people when compared with the last decade. Early days people bought dresses only for special occasions like festivals and birthday parties. But current and future generation people have the trend of weekly shopping and give more importance to their outfit. In conclusion, people feel more comfortable, trendy to wear modern dress. The design and style of modern dress attract the customers than the traditional one. Yet the traditional costume is our culture but more than 80% of the people go with the fashion dress.
In several countries,
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People
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love
to
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wear
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
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dress
than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
. In my point of view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
has both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
its advantages overweight disadvantages.
First
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
costume is more comfortable than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
one and it is easy to wash the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
always time-consuming and easy to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
look in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
appearance, extra cosmetics
are needed
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
example, wearing a jeans top is
Use "easier" to make a comparison with this adjective.
easy
than a saree. Second,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
. Nowadays, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
for parties as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
code is mandatory to enter.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
instance, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
code like black jeans and a white top is a favorite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
code for getting together. The latest design of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
cloth attracts customers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the product. Advertisement about the last design of cloth in social media attracts the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
nowadays and
they are ready to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the new trend of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their status. For a special occasion like
Capitalize holidays.
Valentine's day
, college farewells, birth parties young adults
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
the same kind of red
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
to expose their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to follow our culture and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
good looking
and it covers the entire body than a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
.
Even though
it has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
side,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
to be trend and style
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
. Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
styles. In my opinion,
Currently
, shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
is
also
one of the hobbies for working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
when compared with the last decade. Early days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dresses
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for special occasions like festivals and birthday parties.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
and future generation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have the trend of weekly shopping and give more importance to their outfit.
In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel more comfortable, trendy to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
. The design and style of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
attract the customers than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
one.
Yet
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
costume is our culture
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
more than 80% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
go with
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
.
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IELTS essay In many countries, people wear more western-style clothes(suits and jeans) than their traditional clothes. Why? Is it a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
346 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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