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IN MANY COUNTRIES, PEOPLE CAN GET A WIDE VARIETY OF FOOD TODAY AS A RESULT THEY EAT FOOD FROM OTHER REGION THAN THE LOCAL FOOD. DO U THINK THE ADVANTAGES OUTWEIGH THE DISADVANTAGES OF THE DEVELOPMENT. v.1

IN MANY COUNTRIES, PEOPLE CAN GET A WIDE VARIETY OF FOOD TODAY AS A RESULT THEY EAT FOOD FROM OTHER REGION THAN THE LOCAL FOOD. DO U THINK THE ADVANTAGES OUTWEIGH THE DISADVANTAGES OF THE DEVELOPMENT. v. 1
The topic on the advantages and disadvantages of modern innovations have always been highly argumentative. There are valid explanations for either side, however, in my view, modern innovations are playing a great role in the up gradation of the entire society. To start with, the development of portable devices like computers, laptops and mobile phones has raised the level of the various modes of communications. In fact, people can easily interact with their families and friends residing in any part of the world through the use of internet applications like Facebook and WhatsApp. Moreover, the advancement of the technology is used in expanding the businesses and trades at an international level. For instance, the computer assisted machines have increased the manufacturing capacity of the countries in terms of both quality and quantity of several products, and thus, helping the nations in making more money and boosting their economies. Secondly, the modernization of medical field through the development of advanced radio imaging techniques, diagnostic tests, vaccinations, chemotherapeutic drugs, and robotic assisted minimally invasive surgical procedures have helped in making the early diagnosis and timely management of numerous acute and chronic illnesses like cancer and diabetes. This has subsequently resulted in the improved mortality and morbidity rate and hence, improving the life expectancy and escalating the health standards of the country. Contrarily, these innovations have prone the human race to the chronic radiation exposures and sedentary lifestyle habits which are the root causes for the different medical diseases and hence, raising the burden on hospitals by overwhelming them with the load of patients. Secondly, the cases of hacking and encrypted virus invasions have brought the security issues by breaching the confidentiality of the people. To recapitulate, I opine that people should embrace the modern innovations by making the conscious efforts to overcome its adverse effects by limiting the screen time and adopting the active lifestyle habits.
The topic on the advantages and disadvantages of modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
innovations
have always been
highly
argumentative. There are valid explanations for either side,
however
, in my view, modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
innovations
are playing a great role in the up gradation of the entire society.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, the development of portable devices like computers, laptops and mobile phones has raised the level of the various modes of communications. In fact,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
easily
interact with their families and friends residing in any part of the world through the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of internet applications like Facebook and WhatsApp.
Moreover
, the advancement of the technology is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in expanding the businesses and trades at an international level.
For instance
, the computer assisted machines have increased the manufacturing capacity of the countries in terms of both quality and quantity of several products, and
thus
, helping the nations in making more money and boosting their economies.

Secondly
, the modernization of medical field through the development of advanced radio imaging techniques, diagnostic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
, vaccinations, chemotherapeutic drugs, and robotic assisted
minimally
invasive surgical procedures have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
in making the early diagnosis and timely management of numerous acute and chronic illnesses like cancer and diabetes. This has
subsequently
resulted in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
mortality and morbidity rate and
hence
, improving the life expectancy and escalating the health standards of the country.

Contrarily
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
innovations
have prone the human race to the chronic radiation exposures and sedentary lifestyle habits which are the root causes for the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
medical diseases and
hence
, raising the burden on hospitals by overwhelming them with the load of patients.
Secondly
, the cases of hacking and encrypted virus invasions have brought the security issues by breaching the confidentiality of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

To recapitulate, I opine that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should embrace the modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
innovations
by making the conscious efforts to overcome its adverse effects by limiting the screen time and adopting the active lifestyle habits.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
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Frank Smith

IELTS essay IN MANY COUNTRIES, PEOPLE CAN GET A WIDE VARIETY OF FOOD TODAY AS A RESULT THEY EAT FOOD FROM OTHER REGION THAN THE LOCAL FOOD. DO U THINK THE ADVANTAGES OUTWEIGH THE DISADVANTAGES OF THE DEVELOPMENT. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
314 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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