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In many countries around the world, life expectancy is increasing. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this situation and give your own opinion.

In many countries around the world, life expectancy is increasing. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this situation and give your own opinion. 6Pj3
Most countries in the world, expect to life is rising significantly. I would like to give some pluses and minuses on this case, and provide my point of view. Life expectancy can be at the same time good and bad. About good sides life expectancy could be useful when close people passed away, when in the family come into the grave. People and in your work go on not good, and these kind of situations we need to expect, due to that would be better, where life will decide this troubles, especially time will salute these, and I assume that when people meet this kind of problems, they would believe to the life and also time, because only these two items can judje these challenges. However at the same time half bad sides, especially disadvantage. Whereas when we expect to the life, especially trust to the time in life, we would lose everything. For example: enter the University, people don't have to expect, they must to do something, especially study activities, read books or improve their skills, otherwise we cannot enter the University. Furthermore, when people going to get married, is the must to put a question "Will be happy with her or him? ", "Can we be a good parent to our children? ", answer to these types of question, and get the choice, married to him or her or no. In conclusion, I think that increasing of life expectancy at the same time good and bad. We have to use this item correctly, and our life considerably would be better.
Most countries in the world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expect
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is rising
significantly
. I would like to give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
pluses and minuses on this case, and provide my point of view.

Life expectancy can be at the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
. About
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
sides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
expectancy could be useful when close
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
passed away, when in the family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
into the grave.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
and in your work go on not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
, and
Did you mean "this kind" or "these kinds"?
these kind
of situations we need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expect
, due to that would be better, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
will decide this troubles,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
will salute these, and I assume that when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
this kind of problems, they would
The usual collocation for "believe" is "in" not "to". Did you mean "believe in"?
believe to
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
these two items can
Possible spelling mistake found.
judje
these challenges.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
at the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
half
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
sides,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
especially
disadvantage. Whereas when we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expect
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
especially
trust to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, we would lose everything.
For example
: enter the University,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
don't
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expect
, they
After 'must', the verb is used without 'to'. Probably, you should use "must" or "have to" here.
must to
do something,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
especially
study activities, read books or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
,
otherwise
we cannot enter the University.
Furthermore
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married, is the
After 'must', the verb is used without 'to'. Probably, you should use "must" or "have to" here.
must to
put a question
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Will be happy with her or him?
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
,
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Can we be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
parent to our children?
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
, answer to these types of question, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the choice, married to him or her or no.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that increasing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
expectancy at the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
. We
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this item
correctly
, and our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
considerably
would be better.
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IELTS essay In many countries around the world, life expectancy is increasing. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this situation and give your own opinion.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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