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In future, more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday. Do you agree or disagree?

In future, more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday. p9y0
Many people will decide to go on vacation on their own country instead of travelling to a foreign one in future. In my opinion, it is going to happen and there two main reasons behind it. Firstly, it is extremely convinient to move within your own country, as there are no visa requirements and travel fares are comparatively cheaper. Secondly, people are scared of travelling to other lands because of Covid-19. Convinience of travel is vital to many people when going on a vacation. Sometimes, travelling to another country has many hassles which include arranging visa to enter the country, buying expensive flight tickets and booking hotels in advance. If you are going somewhere domestic, not only flights are way cheaper but one does not have to make such arrangements for documents, flights and stay. For instance, a Pakistani passport holder has to undergo a long procedure to get visa for all other countries except for only 27 countries. In addition to above, Covid-19 is playing an important role in this mind shift. As the virus has made the whole world stopped moving, people are afraid and more inclined towards travelling domestically rather internationally. I strongly agree that this trend shall stay even when the pandemic is over and people are free to travel freely. People will also be scared of getting another virus from a foreign land and it is going to take some time to normalize things. To summarize, most people is going to prefer having vacations in their own country with convinience and without the fear of getting a deadly virus and refrain from going to a foreign country.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will decide to go on vacation on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
to a foreign one
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
. In my opinion, it is going to happen and there two main reasons behind it.
Firstly
, it is
extremely
Possible spelling mistake found.
convinient
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
within your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, as there are no visa requirements and travel fares are
comparatively
cheaper.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are scared
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
to other lands
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of Covid-19.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Convinience
of travel is vital to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
when going on a vacation.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
hassles which include arranging visa to enter the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, buying expensive flight tickets and booking hotels in advance. If you are going somewhere domestic, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
flights are way cheaper
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
one does not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
such arrangements for documents, flights and stay.
For instance
, a Pakistani passport holder
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
undergo a long procedure to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
visa for all other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
except for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
27 countries.

In addition
to above, Covid-19 is playing an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in this mind shift. As the virus has made the whole world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
moving,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are afraid and more inclined towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
domestically
rather
internationally
. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that this trend shall stay even when the pandemic is over and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are free to travel
freely
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
will
also
be scared
of getting another virus from a foreign land and it is going to take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time to normalize things.

To summarize
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
going to prefer having vacations in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
with
Possible spelling mistake found.
convinience
and without the fear of getting a deadly virus and refrain from going to a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
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IELTS essay In future, more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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