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In countries where there is high unemployment, most pupils should be offered only primary education. There is no point in offering secondary education to those who will have no hope of finding a job. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In countries where there is high unemployment, most pupils should be offered only primary education. There is no point in offering secondary education to those who will have no hope of finding a job. BVdj
Many countries encounter a high rate of unemployment in the society. This make parents offer their children to learn only primary school because they have no chance to get a job and it is useless to learn for higher education. In my opinion, I disagree with this statement because children can use this knowledge to extent their abilities and to solve the nation's problems. Eventhough there are numerous people who are unemployed, it does not mean that pupils do not get a chance to learn. Every children have a rights to learn equally from primary to high school. They can use various knowledges from a higher degree education to practice and improve their abilities in the future. For example, student who love to paint wants to be an artist in the future, so they use the skills from secondary and high school classes to practice more and become successful in the future. In addition, they get a chance to learn new experience and they will find a ways to survive from the country's problems. When children recieve more knowledege, they can deeply understand their country's situation and find a way to solve it. If parents only think that it will be useless for their children to continue learning because now most people are unemployed, they will still suffer from this problems. These situation require a new generation to solve for the solution, and pupils will have a different mindset when they educated more. Moreover, students might continue their education by study aboard and use different nations' principles to help solve their homecountry problems. To conclude, having high unemployed rate does not mean that children will not get a chance to educated in secondary school and higher levels. When pupils have high educated and have more experience, they can improve their abilities in certain aspects and use different mindsets to help work out country's problems.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
countries encounter a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
rate of unemployment in the society. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
parents offer their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have no chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job and it is useless to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
for higher education. In my opinion, I disagree with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this knowledge to extent their abilities and to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solve
the nation's problems.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Eventhough
there are numerous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
are unemployed
, it does not mean that pupils do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a chance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
.
'Each', 'every', 'either' and 'neither' are used with singular. Did you mean "all"?
Every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "child"?
children
have
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a right" or simply "rights"?
a rights
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
equally
from primary to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. They can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
various
Possible spelling mistake found.
knowledges
from a higher degree education to practice and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their abilities in the future.
For example
, student who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to paint wants to be an artist in the future,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
from secondary and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
classes to practice more and become successful in the future.
In addition
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a chance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
new
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
experience and
they will find
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a way" or simply "ways"?
a ways
to survive from the country's problems.

When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
Possible spelling mistake found.
recieve
more
Possible spelling mistake found.
knowledege
, they can
deeply
understand their country's situation and find a way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solve
it. If parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it will be useless for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to continue learning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are unemployed
, they will
still
suffer from
Did you mean "these"?
this
problems.
Did you mean "this situation" or "These situations"?
These situation
require a new generation to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solve
for the solution, and pupils will have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
mindset when they educated more.
Moreover
, students might continue their education by study aboard and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
nations' principles to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solve
their
Possible spelling mistake found.
homecountry
problems.

To conclude
, having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
unemployed rate does not mean that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a chance to educated in secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and higher levels. When pupils have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
educated and have more experience, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their abilities in certain aspects and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
mindsets to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
work out country's problems.
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IELTS essay In countries where there is high unemployment, most pupils should be offered only primary education. There is no point in offering secondary education to those who will have no hope of finding a job.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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