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immigration has become very useful these days what is your opinion about it

immigration has become very useful these days what is your opinion about it ljqAQ
Each year, millions of people around the world decide tobimmigrate to other countries because of their own reasons. The most common reasons are: Educational purposes, job and business opportunities, marriage, to offer more opportunities to their children, financial issues, and to escape from their past. My decision about immigrating will follow frok not being able to find a good job, poverty, politics, governmental issues, and financial problems. The cheif reasons making me more determined is economic instability and lack of improvement. Most of the countries are wlaking in the right path, they have been trying for many years to improve and have changed their policies. That is why they are called developed countries.
Each year, millions of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around the world decide
Possible spelling mistake found.
tobimmigrate
to other countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
reasons. The most common reasons are:

Educational purposes, job and business opportunities, marriage, to offer more opportunities to their children, financial issues, and to escape from their past.

My decision about immigrating will follow
Possible spelling mistake found.
frok
not being able to find a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job, poverty, politics, governmental issues, and financial problems. The
Possible spelling mistake found.
cheif
reasons making me more determined is economic instability and lack of improvement. Most of the countries are
Possible spelling mistake found.
wlaking
in the right path, they have been trying for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
and have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
their policies.
That is
why they
are called
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
.

IELTS essay immigration has become very useful these days what is your opinion about it

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
113 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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