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Having sufficient physical activities for citizens who are living in urban area

Having sufficient physical activities for citizens who are living in urban area gE8L
Having sufficient physical activities for citizens who are living in urban areas is challenging, which has been a controversial topic in a temporary life. This problem is caused by severe factors and it should be dealt with a feasible measures. The begin with, there are several reasons convincing why dwellers in large towns used to be lack daily workout. First of all, the young in cities are mostly busy with their hectic work schedule, which is the main barrier to their healthy lifestyle including having physical movements. As the matter of fact, after a busy day in the office or school, a majority of young people choose stagnation type of entertainment rather than having an exercise. Secondly, urban area’s settlers dislike having physical activities on the grounds that the space for that is limited which is unavoidable in the cityside areas. In recent years, skyscrapers and multi-storey buildings are increasing with acceleration in terms of quantity which may lead to evergreen areas shrinking. Therefore, those who desire a body fit through doing a workout may be turned off to dusty and crowded places.
Having
sufficient physical activities for citizens who are living in urban
areas
is challenging, which has been a controversial topic in a temporary life. This problem
is caused
by severe factors and it should
be dealt
with a feasible measures.

The
begin
with, there are several reasons convincing why dwellers in large towns
used
to be lack daily workout.
First of all
, the young in cities are
mostly
busy with their hectic work schedule, which is the main barrier to their healthy lifestyle including
having
physical movements. As the matter of fact, after a busy day in the office or school, a majority of young
people
choose stagnation type of entertainment
rather
than
having
an exercise.
Secondly
, urban
area’s
settlers dislike
having
physical activities on the grounds that the space for that
is limited
which is unavoidable in the
cityside
areas
. In recent years, skyscrapers and
multi-storey
buildings are increasing with acceleration in terms of quantity which may lead to evergreen
areas
shrinking.
Therefore
, those who desire a body fit through doing a workout may
be turned
off to dusty and crowded places.
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IELTS essay Having sufficient physical activities for citizens who are living in urban area

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
183 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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