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Government should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Government should spend money on railways rather than roads. with this statement? n6EPg
Some people say that country budget should be spent on extend railway system than roads. I desperately agree with this view. Firstly, it is obvious that train always leads country incomes to increase by delivering people, consignments and other goods. What I mean by this, if government spends their money on railways in order to be more comfortable for passengers, then it can be optimal choice for those people who want to move from one city to another to use trains instead of cars or buses. Due to this, by selling tickets for citizens, country can make a huge amount of money, and then they can spend on other essential things. Take Japan as an example, which is very popular with its railway system because most Japanese use trains or undergrounds instead of road vehicles and that is why the amount of state budget rises. In addition, if government had spent money on roads, probably it would not have been as more profitable as railways for the state. Therefore, government should spend on railways. Secondly, in some countries car accidents have reached utmost point than ever before, and subways are safest way of delivering people these days. To clarify, in winter season when there are snowfalls, a chance of a crash is extremely high because freezing conditions make roads slippery. Consequently, some transports may slip away, wrecking another one. In contrast, this type of threats is not able to impact on railways as they are resilient to any weather condition. Obviously, travelers can move from city to another without anxiety. As a result, government should not have to waste their money by expending roads, they should develop railways in order to be more safer for users instead. In conclusion, although highways also play a vital role on our life, authorities should be more concerned about passengers’ life and their life should not be in danger, so that reason government should spend money on subway system.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
budget should
be spent
on extend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
system than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
. I
desperately
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view.

Firstly
, it is obvious that train always leads
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
incomes to increase by delivering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, consignments and other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
. What I mean by this, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spends
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
in order to be more comfortable for passengers, then it can be optimal choice for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
from one city to another to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
trains
instead
of cars or buses. Due to this, by selling tickets for citizens,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a huge amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, and then they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
on other essential things. Take Japan as an example, which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular with its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
system
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most Japanese
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
trains or undergrounds
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
vehicles and
that is
why the amount of state budget rises.
In addition
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
had spent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
,
probably
it would not have been as more profitable as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
for the state.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
on railways.

Secondly
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
car accidents have reached utmost point than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, and subways are
Please check whether an article is missing: "the safest".
safest
way of delivering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
these days. To clarify, in winter season when there are snowfalls, a chance of a crash is
extremely
high
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
freezing conditions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
slippery.
Consequently
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
transports may slip away, wrecking another one.
In contrast
, this type of threats is not able to impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
as they are resilient to any weather condition.
Obviously
, travelers can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
from city to another without anxiety.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
waste their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
by expending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
, they should develop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
in order to be
Use only "safer" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more safer
for users
instead
.

In conclusion
, although highways
also
play a vital role on our life, authorities should be more concerned about passengers’ life and their life should not be in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that reason
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on subway system.
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IELTS essay Government should spend money on railways rather than roads. with this statement?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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