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Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for cultural and historical attractions. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for cultural and historical attractions. with this opinion? noJR
The most obvious advantage to keeping the entrance fee identical for both local inhabitants and visitors is that it is a fair step when foreigners's rights concerned. This is because it is unequal to charge tourists relatively higher prices to pay a visit to cultural and historical places when locals are required to pay small or even no fee. The possible senario ensuing from this is discouraged visitors leaving the country and finding another destination with fair policies. The government can win the interest of foreign visitors back, once they introduce the same prices, which can bring the influx of tourists to the country again. This is important for governments to consider since tourism can contribute to boost the economy. A clear example can be seen in the case of Bukhara, where both local residents and foreigners are required to pay identical fees, and this is why the city is well-known around the world. On the other hand, we should also take into account the fact that locals have already been in their own historical attractions and one way to attract locals to these places again would be to allow them to enter for free. However, I think this is a relatively weak viewpoint for the reasons mentioned above.
The most obvious advantage to keeping the entrance fee identical for both
local
inhabitants and visitors is that it is a
fair
step when
foreigners's
rights concerned. This is
because
it is unequal to charge tourists
relatively
higher prices to pay a visit to cultural and historical places when
locals
are required
to pay
small
or even no fee. The possible
senario
ensuing from this
is discouraged
visitors leaving the country and finding another destination with
fair
policies. The
government
can win the interest of foreign visitors back, once they introduce the same prices, which can bring the influx of tourists to the country again. This is
important
for
governments
to consider since tourism can contribute to boost the economy. A
clear
example can be
seen
in the case of Bukhara, where both
local
residents and foreigners
are required
to pay identical fees, and this is why the city is well-known around the world.

On the other hand
, we should
also
take into account the fact that
locals
have already been in their
own
historical attractions and one way to attract
locals
to these places again would be to
allow
them to enter for free.
However
, I
think
this is a
relatively
weak viewpoint for the reasons mentioned above.
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IELTS essay Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for cultural and historical attractions. with this opinion?

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
209 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
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    Present relevant ideas
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  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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