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Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for cultural and historical attractions. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for cultural and historical attractions. with this opinion? 1eWL
It is believed by some individuals that overseas visitors should be charged with higher prices when entering historically and culturally valued facilities. Although this might benefit the economy of a country, I believe that everyone should be charged with identical prices. To begin with, the main reason to charge both locals and foreigners with equal costs is to simply avoid unfairly set prices. This is because of the inequality created by distinct prices for entrance which might be regarded as discrimination. As a consequence, tourists are likely to be discouraged to pay a visit to such places. In Bukhara, for example, local municipalities made a policy which forces travellers to pay higher entrance fees, though, the consequences of such a law proved to be disadvantageous as the number of visitors decreased by half. If there were identical prices set for both citizens of a country and foreigners, tourists would be more easily attracted to visit remarkable places thereby contributing to the development of tourism industry. I do appreciate the opposing view which is that local and historical places are possessions of locals, so they should be charged with relatively lower prices. Nevertheless, I feel that providing equality should be a top priority of all governments since this might bring the influx of visitors from overseas.
It
is believed
by
some
individuals that overseas visitors should
be charged
with higher
prices
when entering
historically
and
culturally
valued facilities. Although this might benefit the economy of a country, I believe that everyone should
be charged
with identical prices.

To
begin
with, the main reason to charge both
locals
and foreigners with equal costs is to
simply
avoid
unfairly
set
prices
. This is
because
of the inequality created by distinct
prices
for entrance which might
be regarded
as discrimination. As a consequence, tourists are likely to
be discouraged
to pay a visit to such places. In Bukhara,
for example
,
local
municipalities made a policy which forces
travellers
to pay higher entrance fees, though, the consequences of such a law proved to be disadvantageous as the number of visitors decreased by half. If there were identical
prices
set for both citizens of a country and foreigners, tourists would be more
easily
attracted to visit remarkable places thereby contributing to the development of tourism industry.

I do appreciate the opposing view which is that
local
and historical places are possessions of
locals
,
so
they should
be charged
with
relatively
lower
prices
.
Nevertheless
, I feel that providing equality should be a top priority of all
governments
since this might bring the influx of visitors from overseas.
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IELTS essay Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for cultural and historical attractions. with this opinion?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
215 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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