Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Every minute, every day, people suffer and lives are lost needlessly because of a lack of safe water and sanitation. the Population is being viewed as the real problem and controlling birth rates should totally address the problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

Every minute, every day, people suffer and lives are lost needlessly because of a lack of safe water and sanitation. the Population is being viewed as the real problem and controlling birth rates should totally address the problem. with this view? PVLdK
Over population is one of the leading causes of malnutrition and poor quality of life of people living in third world countries. I totally agree that birth control is one way to solve the issue. I believe that people who lives in poor areas where potable water is inaccessible usually are malnourished. Their environment also poses a big threat to their health because their surroundings are dirty and the people does not pay attention about its cleanliness. Children and old people are the most vulnerable group to acquire the illness through unclean water and improper food preparation. Some cases lead to the death of these vulnerable group of people. I also believe that health teachings like family planning, be it natural or artificial, is essential to every couple. Parents to be should be educated regarding the effects if having either a small or big family. They should plan how many children they want and they can afford to provide a good quality of life to their family, that us having a healthy meals, clean water, safe environment and able to send the children to school. Furthermore, teaching them about proper waste disposal and cleanliness of the environment is also important to achieve. In conclusion, increased number of people living in a small area makes the place crowded. Safe drinking water is really important to have a healthy populace. To have a small family and be able to provide for their needs is ideal. Family planning can help reduce the effects of the booming population, thus good quality if life can be attained by every human being.
Over population is one of the leading causes of malnutrition and poor quality of life of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in third world countries. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that birth control is one way to solve the issue.

I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
Did you mean "live"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'people' should be used.
lives
in poor areas where potable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is inaccessible
usually
are malnourished
. Their environment
also
poses a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
threat to their health
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their surroundings are dirty and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
does
not pay attention about its cleanliness. Children and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are the most vulnerable group to acquire the illness through unclean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
and improper food preparation.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
cases lead to the death of these vulnerable group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

I
also
believe that health teachings like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
planning, be it natural or artificial, is essential to every couple. Parents to be should
be educated
regarding the effects if having either a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. They should plan how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
children they
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
want and
they can afford to provide a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
quality of life to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, that us having a healthy
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "meal"?
meals
, clean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
, safe environment and able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
the children to school.
Furthermore
, teaching them about proper waste disposal and cleanliness of the environment is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to achieve.

In conclusion
, increased number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
area
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the place crowded. Safe drinking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to have a healthy populace. To have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and be able to provide for their needs is ideal.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Family
planning can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the effects of the booming population,
thus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
quality if life can
be attained
by every human being.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Every minute, every day, people suffer and lives are lost needlessly because of a lack of safe water and sanitation. the Population is being viewed as the real problem and controlling birth rates should totally address the problem. with this view?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Every minute, every day, people suffer and lives are lost needlessly because of a lack of safe water and sanitation. the Population is being viewed as the real problem and controlling birth rates should totally address the problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?