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Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries, many small , local business are unable to compete. some people think that closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. to what extent do you agree of dis agree

Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries, many small, local business are unable to compete. some people think that closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. to what extent do you agree of dis agree Gb9L
Supermarket is root cause of globalization. Expansion of supermarkets is debatable issue as per concern with local businesses as local business have fear that it will extinct to local venture. I am agree with this statement that development of supermarket will become main reason of extinction of local business. This essay will provide an evidence how growth of supermarket become a barrier for local occupation. To commence with, supermarkets are those places where one can buy variety of products under one roof as young generation is very busy in their schedule so they usually prefer to buy stuff under one roof. As a result, local business going down. Moreover, owners of megamarkets always buy products in bulk and able to get product at lower price from manufacturers. Consequently, they can easily provide huge discounts to customers on special occasions, festivals. Whereas, goods of local business are expensive as they mostly make handmade so, they are not in condition of providing discount to customer which discourage people to buy things from local entrepreneurs. Furthermore, supermarket have different variety of same products for different consumers. To instance, supermarket always have different variety of clothes that vary inferior to exterior as they price tags are attached with them so, consumers can buy any according to their budget. Whereas, local business have same quality of products usually they are expensive as customer do not have alternatives and prefer to approach to supermarket. In conclusion, in my opinion expansion of supermarkets will kill to local business as individual like to do shopping under one roof and good environment. Government should assist local business by reservation of trade
Supermarket is root cause of globalization. Expansion of supermarkets is debatable issue as per concern with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
have fear that it will extinct to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
venture. I am
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement that development of supermarket will become main reason of extinction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
. This essay will provide an evidence how growth of supermarket become a barrier for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
occupation.

To commence with, supermarkets are those places where one can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
under one roof as young generation is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
busy in their schedule
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
usually
prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
stuff under one roof.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
going down.
Moreover
, owners of
Possible spelling mistake found.
megamarkets
always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
in bulk and able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
at lower price from manufacturers.
Consequently
, they can
easily
provide huge discounts to customers on special occasions, festivals. Whereas,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
are expensive as they
mostly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
handmade
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, they are not in condition of providing discount to customer which discourage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
things from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
entrepreneurs.

Furthermore
, supermarket have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
variety of same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
consumers. To instance, supermarket always have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
variety of clothes that vary inferior to exterior as they price tags
are attached
with them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, consumers can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
any according to their budget. Whereas,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
have same quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
usually
they are expensive as customer do not have alternatives and prefer to approach to supermarket.

In conclusion
, in my opinion expansion of supermarkets will kill to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
as individual
Comparison is written 'as individual "as"'.
like
to
The usual collocation for an activity ending in "-ing" is "go" not "do" or "play." Revise: "go shopping".
do shopping
under one roof and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
environment.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
should assist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
by reservation of
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
trade
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IELTS essay Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries, many small, local business are unable to compete. some people think that closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. to what extent do you agree of dis agree

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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