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Despite improvements in vehicle technology, there are still large numbers of road accidents. Explain some of the causes of these accidents and suggest some measures that could be taken to address the problem.

Despite improvements in vehicle technology, there are still large numbers of road accidents. Explain some of the causes of these accidents and suggest some measures that could be taken to address the problem. 2wPb
The improvement in the technology of cars is noticeable. However, a huge figure of a car crash is still a matter of concern. This essay will explain what are the reasons behind this issue and the ways to mitigate that. There are two main factors that result in automobile accidents. One of the important ones is cell-phones. This because the mobile phones draw the attention of drivers from the road to either messaging or talking and these inattention ones are not able to react as quickly as they must do, in which the collisions will happen. Another debatable factor in increasing the sum of traffic accidents is intensive work-schedule. Meaning that in the modern world people have to work for long hours or take an extra night shift to make money, which lead to fatigue. These tired and sleepy workers are not able to drive with full consciousness. For example, the study in Australia showed that 35% of individuals who had a fatal car crash had been a night-shift worker the night before and had sleep deprivation. This is why changing in work schedule will be discussed later. Despite those aforementioned factors, there are some changes that can happen in order to reduce the total of a vehicle blast. Firstly, the government should put high fine for those who will talk during the control of cars. If people fear about paying a high charge, they will not break the law. In addition, social media can raise public awareness. For instance, a survey which has done in IRAN showed that after informing the truck drivers about signs of sleepiness and teaching them to take just a little nap at that time the total of fatal car clash decreased dramatically. In conclusion, while we have sophisticated vehicles in this modern world, the numbers of accidents are high. Some reasons like distraction during driving by cell-phone or sleepiness from long hours working behind those which can be reduced by putting authorities plus educational program.
The improvement in the technology of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
is noticeable.
However
, a huge figure of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
crash is
still
a matter of concern. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
what are the reasons behind this issue and the ways to mitigate that.

There are two main factors that result in automobile accidents. One of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
ones is cell-phones. This
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the mobile phones draw the attention of drivers from the road to either messaging or talking and these inattention ones are not able to react as
quickly
as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
do, in which the collisions will happen. Another debatable factor in increasing the sum of traffic accidents is intensive work-schedule. Meaning that in the modern world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work for long hours or take an extra night shift to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
money, which lead to fatigue. These tired and sleepy workers are not able to drive with full consciousness.
For example
, the study in Australia
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that 35% of individuals who had a fatal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
crash had been a night-shift worker the night
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
and had sleep deprivation. This is why changing in work schedule will
be discussed
later.

Despite those aforementioned factors, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
that can happen in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the total of a vehicle blast.
Firstly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should put high fine for those who will talk during the control of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
. If
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
fear about paying a high charge, they will not break the law.
In addition
, social media can raise public awareness.
For instance
, a survey which has done in IRAN
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that after informing the truck drivers about signs of sleepiness and teaching them to take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
nap at that time the total of fatal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
clash decreased
dramatically
.

In conclusion
, while we have sophisticated vehicles in this modern world, the numbers of accidents are high.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
reasons like distraction during driving by cell-phone or sleepiness from long hours working behind those which can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
by putting authorities plus educational program.
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IELTS essay Despite improvements in vehicle technology, there are still large numbers of road accidents. Explain some of the causes of these accidents and suggest some measures that could be taken to address the problem.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
331 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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