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Describe an influentioal person and say why you feel this person is a positive role model?

Describe an influentioal person and say why you feel this person is a positive role model? MMLJq
There are many people in my life such as, my parents, grandparents, and my all family members, who has good influence on me. But, my husband has a great influence on me, because he is very passionate for work in life, he is hardworking, friendly, loving, helping in nature, and lovable person. He always inspires me to progress in life. He is the one who always pushes me to succeed in life. He never give-up and this is his attitude always motivates me. First, my husband is confident person. He thinks positively, and does his work with positive view. He believes, we should always think positively, this help us to run on the correct path. Negative thinking can divert our way to success. For example, if we want to do any work in life which we never did before, then we should do that work by considering their positive points. If we think only, as we never did this work before, and therefore, we never tried, then we will not be able be to walk even a single step towards success. He always says, try again and again. Never stop trying till we complete our goal. He believes failure is the first step to the success. He not only applies all these in his work, but helps others also to succeed in life. He never expects any return from anyone. In addition, he teaches me a lot in my life. I am from small town. I haven’t been away from my family. My family is also traditional and orthodox. They taught me traditional, family, and moral values. But, I never interacted to the real world before. My first interaction with the real world was when I got married. It was very hard for me totally in different country with different custom and culture. I could not even understand language there. So, I always use to feel frustrate, failure and disappointing. But, my husband taught me language, tried hard to get me involved in many activities, where I did not feel alone, frustrate and failure. He did really hard work for me and now also he is doing. He not only helps me in my trouble, but also many others. Finally, my teachers, peers, and friends are also taught me many things in life, but my husband did incredible job for me and still he is doing it. His positive attitude, hardworking nature, and passion for work always inspire and motivate me. Therefore, he is my real positive role model.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
such as, my parents, grandparents, and my all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members, who has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
influence on me.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
husband
has a great influence on me,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
passionate for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, he is hardworking, friendly, loving, helping in nature, and lovable person. He always inspires me to progress in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. He is the one who always pushes me to succeed in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
He
never give-up and this is his attitude always motivates me.

First
, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
husband
is confident person. He
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
positively
, and does his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
view. He believes, we should always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
positively
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to run on the correct path.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Negative
thinking can divert our way to success.
For example
, if we want to do any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
which we never did
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, then we should do that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
by considering their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
points. If we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
, as we never did this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, and
therefore
, we never tried, then we will not be able be to walk even a single step towards success. He always says, try again and again. Never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
trying till we complete our goal. He believes failure is the
first
step to the success. He not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
applies all these in his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
others
also
to succeed in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
He
never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expects
any return from anyone.

In addition
, he teaches me a lot in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. I am from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
town. I haven’t been away from my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. My
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is
also
traditional and orthodox. They taught me traditional,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, and moral values.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, I never interacted to the real world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. My
first
interaction with the real world was when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
married. It was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for me
totally
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
country with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
custom and culture. I could not even understand language there.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I always
Make sure that 'use to' is correct. For habitual actions in the past or to mean 'accustomed to', use "used to".
use to
feel frustrate, failure and disappointing.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
husband
taught me language, tried
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
me involved in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
activities, where I did not feel alone, frustrate and failure. He did
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for me and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
also
he is doing. He not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
me in my trouble,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
others.

Finally
, my teachers, peers, and friends are
also
taught me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
husband
did incredible job for me and
still
he is doing it. His
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
attitude, hardworking nature, and passion for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
always inspire and motivate me.
Therefore
, he is my real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
role model.
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IELTS essay Describe an influentioal person and say why you feel this person is a positive role model?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
419 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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