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Describe a time when you were looking at the sky

Describe a time when you were looking at the sky qQyVp
Well, the most romantic scene and also gives us peaceful feeling may be when we stare at the sky. This is not new to everyone, however; today I want to tell you about a time when I was able to admire the beautiful night sky in the countryside. When I was a child, I lived with my mother on Cat Ba island, I still vividly remember that night when I went out with my mother, I accidentally looked out into the distance where the sky appeared full of beautiful colors along with the sea surface. the sky was not completely black, but also mixed with a little purple and blue like the galaxy. adorning them ware glittering stars shining brightly around the crescent moon. As soon as I saw it, I was really surprised and excited. That magical beauty attracted me, making me constantly look at the sky and asked my mom thousands of questions why. It seems to open up a large space for me to imagine and feel very peaceful when looking at it. It's been more than a decade, but my impressions of the sky that day gradually seemed to have not faded. If possible, you should take some time to look at the sky to find peace again.
Well, the most romantic scene and
also
gives us peaceful feeling may be when we stare at the sky. This is not new to everyone,
however
;
today
I want to
tell
you about a time when I was able to admire the
beautiful
night sky in the countryside. When I was a child, I
lived
with my mother on Cat Ba island, I
still
vividly
remember that night when I went out with my mother, I
accidentally
looked out into the distance where the sky appeared full of
beautiful
colors along with the sea surface.
the
sky was not completely black,
but
also
mixed with a
little
purple and blue like the galaxy.
adorning
them ware glittering stars shining
brightly
around the crescent moon. As
soon
as I
saw
it, I was
really
surprised and excited. That magical beauty attracted me, making me
constantly
look at the sky and asked my mom thousands of questions why. It seems to open up a large space for me to imagine and feel
very
peaceful when looking at it. It's been more than a decade,
but
my impressions of the sky that day
gradually
seemed to have not faded. If possible, you should take
some
time to look at the sky to find peace again.
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IELTS essay Describe a time when you were looking at the sky

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
212 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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