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Describe a long walk that you enjoyed.

Last summer, I went to a beach with my family. It took three hours drive from where I lived. When I arrived the beach area, I was thrilled by the amazing scenery of the sea. I had the priviledged to witness the beauty of a sunrise. The sun was glaring and the sea breeze was cooling. When I was walking along the beach, there were already so many people walking their dogs, jogging and there are a few people who were just sitting on the beach. While I was walking with my family, I suddenly observed a flock of birds in the sky. They were flying in a triangle shape. There was only one bird that led the whole flock of birds at that time. As I continued strolling along the beach, suddenly I saw the bird that was leading the rest of them, began to reposition itself and let other bird to take its turn to lead. It was amazing! I thought even the birds knew how to work in unity. That' s the reason why I enjoyed my walked in the nature. The nature was fascinating and it always has a suprised for me and taught me with a new lesson too.
Last summer, I went to a
beach
with my family.

It took three hours drive from where I
lived
. When I arrived the
beach
area, I
was thrilled
by the amazing scenery of the sea. I had the priviledged to witness the beauty of a sunrise. The sun was glaring and the sea breeze was cooling.

When I was walking along the
beach
, there were already
so
many
people
walking their dogs, jogging and there are a few
people
who were
just
sitting on the beach.

While I was walking with my family, I
suddenly
observed a flock of
birds
in the sky. They were flying in a triangle shape. There was
only
one
bird
that led the whole flock of
birds
at that time. As I continued strolling along the
beach
,
suddenly
I
saw
the
bird
that was leading the rest of them, began to reposition itself and
let
other
bird
to take its turn to lead.

It was amazing! I
thought
even the
birds
knew how to work in unity. That' s the reason why I enjoyed my walked in the nature. The nature was fascinating and it always has a suprised for me and taught me with a new lesson too.
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IELTS essay Describe a long walk that you enjoyed.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
204 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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