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Culture around the world has become more similar to the other countries then it was before. State reasons, example and conclude if it is a positive or negative trend?

Culture around the world has become more similar to the other countries then it was before. State reasons, example and conclude if it is a positive or negative trend? yAkE
Civilization across the globe has become more common to other nations as compared to the past. In my opinion, this is a positive trend for the following reasons. First and foremost, common culture eliminates the communication barriers thus results in increased trade and commerce. In the past, countries were dependent on each other for seasonal vegetable and fruits but now just because the culture is becoming progressively similar, people are not only able to exchange their methods and techniques but also becoming self-dependent. Additionally, this has brought several countries closer to each other, as a result of which nations are able to resolve their conflicts through communication. For example, India and Pakistan are enemies as nations but their citizens share friendly relations because of the common culture. Secondly, another reason why similar civilization advantageous because this is benefiting the most under-developed countries. For instance, a recent survey conducted by The British Government found that 40% of the employment is generated in developing regions due to this advancement of civilization. Moreover, this broadens the outlook of the people and helps to make them aware of what development is going on at the international level. To conclude, in my opinion, this is a positive trend and this should be continued for the betterment of mankind. This is necessary to build a civilized world where one can understand and respect the diverse heritage of others and I think individuals and the government should work together in this venture. so that our future generations will be more sensitive and have a good sense of fraternity.
Civilization across the globe has become more common to
other
nations as compared to the past. In my opinion, this is a
positive
trend for the following reasons.

First
and foremost, common culture eliminates the communication barriers
thus
results in increased trade and commerce. In the past, countries were dependent on each
other
for seasonal vegetable and fruits
but
now
just
because
the culture is becoming
progressively
similar,
people
are not
only
able to exchange their methods and techniques
but
also
becoming self-dependent.
Additionally
, this has brought several countries closer to each
other
,
as a result
of which nations are able to resolve their conflicts through communication.
For example
, India and Pakistan are enemies as nations
but
their citizens share friendly relations
because
of the common culture.

Secondly
, another reason why similar civilization advantageous
because
this is benefiting the most under-
developed countries
.
For instance
, a recent survey conducted by The British
Government
found that 40% of the employment
is generated
in developing regions due to this advancement of civilization.
Moreover
, this broadens the outlook of the
people
and
helps
to
make
them aware of what development is going on at the international level.

To conclude
, in my opinion, this is a
positive
trend and this should
be continued
for the betterment of mankind. This is necessary to build a civilized world where one can understand and respect the diverse heritage of others and I
think
individuals and the
government
should work together in this venture.
so
that our future generations will be more sensitive and have a
good
sense of fraternity.
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IELTS essay Culture around the world has become more similar to the other countries then it was before. State reasons, example and conclude if it is a positive or negative trend?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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