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Children are getting 10% weight from past year.Give your causes and effects?

It is often argued that in western society, the rate of overweight child has been increased around 20% in terms of 10 years. There are many causes and effects which would be discuss in following fragment. The main causes and effects for overweight children is due to their food habitat and lack of physical exercise. Many children at present days like to eat junk food outside which is bad to our health. Due to this type of food intake their weight get increased rapidly in small age. Another problem is Physical exercise. children have latest technology like videogames, computer, Television which makes them lazy and make habits of involving into it hours to hours. Due to this activity many children are getting lazy and effecting their health and habitat. To overcome with this problem, there are many solution to it. But some solution are Physical exercise and participating with friends. For induce, Instead of playing videogames inside the house. If children play outside with their friends then it help them to improve their habitat. Where as another factor for improving their health is sports, if children play sports which they find more interesting it will help them to be active and fit. Healthy food play vital role to children. Parents should prevent to children's not to eat junk food which is easily available in market place. They should provide nutrient food which makes them healthy. Overall we can conclude that due to junk food and lack of physical activities our today generation is being lazy and inactive due to which it is effecting to their health and life. To overcome this effects, healthy food and sports helps them to be active and wealthy. If this activity is done to children then we can today generation children more beneficial in future.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that in western society, the rate of overweight child has
been increased
around 20% in terms of 10 years. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
causes and effects which would be discuss in following fragment.

The main causes and effects for overweight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
habitat and lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
exercise.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at present days like to eat junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
outside which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
to our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Due
to this type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
intake their weight
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
increased
rapidly
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
age. Another problem is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Physical
exercise.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have latest technology like videogames, computer, Television which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them lazy and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
habits of involving into it hours to hours.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Due
to this activity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are getting lazy and effecting their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and habitat.

To overcome with this problem, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
solution to it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solution are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Physical
exercise and participating with friends. For induce,
Instead
of playing videogames inside the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
play outside with their friends then it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their habitat. Where as another factor for improving their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is sports, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
play sports which they find more interesting it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to be active and fit. Healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
play vital role to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Parents should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
to children's not to eat junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
which is
easily
available in market place. They should provide nutrient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them healthy.

Overall
we can conclude that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
activities our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
generation is being lazy and inactive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to which it is effecting to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and life. To overcome this effects, healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to be active and wealthy. If this activity
is done
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
then we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
generation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
more beneficial in future.

IELTS essay Children are getting 10% weight from past year. Give your causes and effects?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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