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DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE WITH THE FOLLOWING STATEMENT? CHILDHOOD IS THE HAPPIEST TIME IN A PERSON’S LIFE.

CHILDHOOD IS THE HAPPIEST TIME IN A PERSON’S LIFE. 56N6A
Childhood is a very important stage in a person's life, and it has huge consequences in the latter part of our life. But, I do not think it is the happiest period of our life. I feel this way for several reasons which I will explore in the following essay. First of all, the child is very influenced by the environment that he or she was born in. So if the circumstances of that environment are bad, the kid would suffer from being in that bad conditions. Moreover, the child is surrounded by people that he or she did not have the choice to be with, and mostly he did not has the ability to live with other because he did not own the means to do so. Furthermore, if the father was a hard person and deal with his children badly, this would result in negative memory about the home, My friend's experience is a compelling example of this. He was born in a poor family, and his father was addicted to drugs, so the whole childhood of my friend was struggling with his father. In fact, he took extra years to complete his high school, because his father forced him to work to get money, and this money was used by his father to buy drugs more and more. Secondly, our personalities in childhood is not fully developed. On the other hand, when we become adults we get the required experiences to develop our knowledge and perception of things. Additionally, we become responsible for the choices we make, and then we feel freer to take the path that we think is better for our interest, even if this path is not the best one. For instance, when I applied to university, I did not follow my parent's wishes, but my dreams. And when I got accepted in the major that I wanted. Although I faced many difficulties I did not complain, because this the choice that I made and I should be responsible for that. As a result, I found a way to come over these difficulties. In conclusion, I am of the opinion that childhood is not the happiest time of a person's life. This is because we do not choose the conditions that we born in, and because of the lack of freedom and responsibility
Childhood is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
stage in a person's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, and it has huge consequences in the latter part of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is the happiest period of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. I feel this way for several reasons which I will explore in the following essay.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the child is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
influenced by the environment that he or she
was born
in.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
if the circumstances of that environment are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
, the kid would suffer from being in that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
conditions.
Moreover
, the child
is surrounded
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that he or she did not have the choice to be with, and
mostly
he did not
The verb 'did' requires the base form of the verb: "have"
has
the ability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
the means to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.
Furthermore
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
father
was a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
person and deal with his children
badly
, this would result in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
memory about the home, My friend's experience is a compelling example of this. He
was born
in a poor family, and his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
father
was addicted
to drugs,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the whole childhood of my friend was struggling with his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
father
. In fact, he took extra years to complete his high school,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
father
forced him to work to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
money, and this money was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
father
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
drugs more and more.

Secondly
, our personalities in childhood is not
fully
developed.
On the other hand
, when we become adults we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the required experiences to develop our knowledge and perception of things.
Additionally
, we become responsible for the choices we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
, and then we feel freer to take the path that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
is better for our interest, even if this path is not the best one.
For instance
, when I applied to university, I did not follow my parent's wishes,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
my dreams. And when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
in the major that I wanted. Although I faced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
difficulties I did not complain,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this the choice that I made and I should be responsible for that.
As a result
, I found a way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
over these difficulties.

In conclusion
, I am of the opinion that childhood is not the happiest time of a person's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we do not choose the conditions that
It seems that a verb or adverb is missing or misspelled here. Please verify.
we born
in, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the lack of freedom and
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
responsibility
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IELTS essay CHILDHOOD IS THE HAPPIEST TIME IN A PERSON’S LIFE.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
388 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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