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celebrities opinion

celebrities opinion XG39r
It is an undeniable fact that famous people play an immense role in our lives. We read articles about their latest affairs, contributions they made to the society etc. But their impact on certain people differs. I think that celebrities have more influence on younger people than on older people. I will give some plausible examples to bolster my opinion. Firstly, the difference in interests plays a conclusive role in this question. Young people tend to catch the tide of latest affairs and fashions to be cool in front of peers. For example, if I do not know what a celebrity said about a particular kind of clothing, I cannot keep up the conversation with classmates. In contrary, older people have already gone through the same stages of young life and now they want a peaceful and calm life. Secondly, we always hear about celebrities’ brilliant achievements and extravagant enjoyment, which overstate the gorgeous part and understate the painstaking part. Young people tend to pursue such kind of life, but with little endeavor. Therefore, they are blinded by any word that their admired person says. Meanwhile, older people have a home, a job and a family and they do not need any opinions, because they already prosper in life. Thirdly, celebrities' opinions are not relevant and interesting for older people, because they have lived many years, overcome many problems and have a lot of experience. They know how to handle certain situations and their opinions are already made. Older people even know about life much more than famous people do. Youth's views on live are only starting to be mold and young people need a source which they can obtain ideas and values from. What conclusion can be drawn from this? In my opinion, young people are more vulnerable to celebrities' opinions, because they need support in making values and interests, while older people already know what they want from life. I think, that this problem will be forever in family and society, because this is a part of socializing and growing up.
It is an undeniable fact that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
play an immense role in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. We read articles about their latest affairs, contributions they made to the society etc.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
their impact on certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
differs
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that celebrities have more influence on younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
than on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. I will give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
plausible examples to bolster my opinion.

Firstly
, the difference in interests plays a conclusive role in this question.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to catch the tide of
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
affairs and fashions to be cool in front of peers.
For example
, if I do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
what a celebrity said about a particular kind of clothing, I cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up the conversation with classmates. In contrary,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
already
gone through the same stages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
they want a peaceful and calm life.

Secondly
, we always hear about celebrities’ brilliant achievements and extravagant enjoyment, which overstate the gorgeous part and understate the painstaking part.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to pursue such kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
endeavor.
Therefore
, they
are blinded
by any word that their admired person says. Meanwhile,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a home, a job and a
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
family and
they do not need any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinions
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
already
prosper in life.

Thirdly
, celebrities'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinions
are not relevant and interesting for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years, overcome
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems and have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
experience. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
how to handle certain situations and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinions
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
already
made.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
much more than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do. Youth's views on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
starting to be mold and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need a source which they can obtain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and values from.

What conclusion can
be drawn
from this? In my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more vulnerable to celebrities'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinions
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they need support in making values and interests, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
already
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
what they want from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, that this problem will be forever in family and society,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this is a part of socializing and growing up.
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IELTS essay celebrities opinion

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
343 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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