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buying things on the internet, such as books, groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping this way outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

buying things on the internet, such as books, groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping this way outweigh the disadvantages? J1bw
Online shopping has become a common occurence in households across the world but there are certain issues pertaining to buying things on the internet which are not taken into account by several people. Firstly, going out and buying things in a market or a mall is the only form of social interaction some people have in their daily lives and now this has become but an alternative to a much easier way for all your daily needs which can lead to people getting shut off from the society and the outside world in general. Secondly I would like to add is how obesity is becoming a really big problem in the world and being able to order unhealthy fast food with online sites is a really big cause of that. Thirdly, some people go on an online shopping spree where they spend time at online shopping sites for hours and buy clothes or purses or other commodities that they might not even use and waste their hard earned money. Another problem with buying online are the scam sites which can sell counterfeit products or cause a virus on your electronic device. But there is another side to this coin and that is the advantages of online shopping. The biggest advantage is that in the time of the Covid-19 virus we can stay quarantined at home and not worry about groceries and daily household necessities as those can be ordered at home. besides that, things such as buying a ticket for a train or a flight have become much more streamlined and not so much of a hassle where you need to know the in's and out's of the whole process so as to not make a mistake. In the end I would like to say that online shopping is a commodity at our fingertips which we should not abuse and instead use responsibly.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has become a common
Possible spelling mistake found.
occurence
in households across the world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are certain issues pertaining to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
things on the internet which are not taken into account by several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Firstly
, going out and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
things in a market or a mall is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
form of social interaction
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have in their daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
this has become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
an alternative to a much easier way for all your daily needs which can lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
getting shut off from the society and the outside world
in general
.
Secondly
I would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
is how obesity is becoming a
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
problem in the world and being able to order unhealthy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
sites is a
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cause of that.
Thirdly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
go on an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
spree where they spend time at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
sites for hours and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
clothes or purses or other commodities that they might not even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
and waste their
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
hard earned
money. Another problem with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
are the scam sites which can sell counterfeit products or cause a virus on your electronic device.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
there is another side to this coin and
that is
the advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
. The biggest advantage is that in the time of the Covid-19 virus we can stay quarantined at home and not worry about groceries and daily household necessities as those can
be ordered
at home.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
besides
that, things such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
a ticket for a train or a flight have become much more streamlined and not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much of a hassle where you need to know the in's and out's of the whole process
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a mistake. In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
I would like to say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is a commodity at our fingertips which we should not abuse and
instead
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
responsibly
.
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IELTS essay buying things on the internet, such as books, groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping this way outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
313 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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