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Big salary is much more important than jab satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree.

Big salary is much more important than jab satisfaction. WORb
In recent decades, salary and job satisfaction is becoming controversial issue among public across the globe as everyone on the earth wants to live luxurious life, and they want to fulfil their needs while job satisfaction will leads to productivity of work and maintain a healthy lifestyle. In this essay, I will discuss my viewpoints along with my opinion in upcoming paragraphs. To embark on, everyone knew that money is a root cause of all evil. To fulfil dreams and earning best amount of income leads to great efforts and hard work which makes them satisfied with their work. Moreover, at workplace, there are more responsibilities and targets needs to be achieved. As a result, work pressure developed that's why workers have to work late during day hours as well as nights. Sometimes, family relations are distrupted as during work, they don't able to give time to their family and friends. Also, their health is affected because too much load of work on workers leads to diseases and they affected negatively by work of long hours which leads to scarcity of exercise. However, bank balance increased but there will be no time to spend the money that earned. For satisfaction of jobs, people choose the area where they can do work with jubilation and efficiently or without any force. The atmosphere at workplace becomes very pleasant as well as, they achieve their goal with high success rate since they are in the area of their interest. The relationship with family and colleagues remains better, as a result, life becomes more easier and happier. I disagree with this statement that huge wages are more vital than job satisfaction. For example, sending children to great school requires parents to pay high fee which can be possible only when income is high. Moreover, bank balance would be expanded when it comes to buy the things which workers want to buy. In conclusion, although massive amount of salary and satisfaction of jobs leads to benefits but we should never do discrimination between both of them as I have mentioned above.
In recent decades, salary and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
is becoming controversial issue among public across the globe as everyone on the earth wants to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
luxurious life, and they want to fulfil their needs while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
will leads to productivity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and maintain a healthy lifestyle. In this essay, I will discuss my viewpoints along with my opinion in upcoming paragraphs.

To embark on, everyone knew that money is a root cause of all evil. To fulfil dreams and earning best amount of income leads to great efforts and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them satisfied with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
Moreover
, at workplace, there are more responsibilities and targets needs to
be achieved
.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
pressure developed that's why workers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
late during day hours
as well
as nights.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
, family relations are
Possible spelling mistake found.
distrupted
as during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, they don't able to give time to their family and friends.
Also
, their health is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
too much load of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
on workers leads to
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
diseases and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
negatively
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
of long hours which leads to scarcity of exercise.
However
, bank balance increased
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there will be no time to spend the money that earned.

For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
choose the area where they can do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with jubilation and
efficiently
or without any force. The atmosphere at workplace becomes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
pleasant
as well
as, they achieve their goal with high success rate since they are in the area of their interest. The relationship with family and colleagues remains better,
as a result
, life becomes
Use only "easier" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more easier
and happier. I disagree with this statement that huge wages are more vital than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
.
For example
, sending children to great school requires parents to pay high fee which can be possible
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
when income is high.
Moreover
, bank balance would
be expanded
when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the things which workers want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
.

In conclusion
, although massive amount of salary and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
leads to benefits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we should never do discrimination between both of them as I have mentioned above.
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IELTS essay Big salary is much more important than jab satisfaction.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
346 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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