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Are environmental issues too complex to be handled by the individual

Are environmental issues too complex to be handled by the individual e58GB
With the development of the societies and also with the increase in population around the world, the environmental problems are more significant than before. If we trace the origin of these problems we would realize that the unconscious behavior of people all around the world have caused this issue and actually it is not a simple problem to be solved by individuals. Hence, I do not agree with the statement in the question and from my point of view more strict actions should be done to manage the environmental problems. On the other hand, we should not underestimate our behavior as an individual about this issue which would have positive impact even less on preserving our environment. Following assay will more demonstrate my opinion: First of all, as all we know, today air pollution is one of the most important problems in our world. With the increase of the greenhouse gases in the atmosphere and as a consequence accelerating in global warming we are faced with many formidable consequences in our life. This matter is not related to only one country and actually it is such a complex problem that could be solved by only individuals efforts, therefore, all nations and government in the world should work on it to prevent any further terrible happenings. In my opinion, more strict rules should be legislated by international organizations to handle more successfully this problem. For instance, solid and strict rules for factories which consume fossil foul can be practical and only governments have this power to oblige factories to obey issued laws and supervise them regularly. my personal experiment is a compelling example of this: I work for a pharmaceutical manufacturing company. Last year new rules were legislated for all factories which force all manufacturing sites to change the filters every week instead every 15 days which helps to reduce air pollution. Furthermore, one of the other environmental issues is water resources. today we are faced with water scarcity and again only government can handle this issue too. They should manage the water resources and try to develop more useful and practical methods for water distribution because only they have this power and facilities to manage water resources. To draw my conclusion, in this developed world, individuals do not oppose adequate power and facilities to handle environmental issues, and in my opinion it is the governments duty to manage such these problems and even it is required to take some internationally decision in this regard. And of course we have not underestimate individual powers and their efforts would have positive impact in this matter even less.
With the development of the societies and
also
with the increase in population around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
are more significant than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. If we trace the origin of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
we would realize that the unconscious behavior of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
all around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
have caused this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
and actually it is not a simple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
to
be solved
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
.
Hence
, I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement in the question and from my point of view more strict actions should
be done
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manage
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
On the other hand
, we should not underestimate our behavior as an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
about this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
which would have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact even less on preserving our environment. Following assay will more demonstrate my opinion:

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, as all we know,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
air pollution is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in our world.

With the increase of the greenhouse gases in the atmosphere and as a consequence accelerating in global warming we
are faced
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
formidable consequences in our life. This matter is not related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
one country and actually it is such a complex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
that could
be solved
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
efforts,
therefore
, all nations and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
should work on it to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
any
further
terrible happenings. In my opinion, more strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
should
be legislated
by international organizations to handle more
successfully
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
For instance
, solid and strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
for factories which consume fossil foul can be practical and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
have this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
to oblige factories to obey issued laws and supervise them
regularly
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
my
personal experiment is a compelling example of this: I work for a pharmaceutical manufacturing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. Last year new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
were legislated
for all factories which force all manufacturing sites to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the filters every week
instead
every 15 days which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
air pollution.

Furthermore
, one of the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
resources.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
today
we
are faced
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
scarcity and again
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can handle this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
too. They should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manage
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
resources and try to develop more useful and practical methods for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
distribution
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
they have this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
and facilities to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
resources.

To draw my conclusion, in this developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
do not oppose adequate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
and facilities to handle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
, and in my opinion it is the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "governments'" or "government's"?
governments
duty to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manage
such these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and even it
is required
to take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
internationally
decision in this regard. And
of course
we have not underestimate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
powers
and their efforts would have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact in this matter even less.
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IELTS essay Are environmental issues too complex to be handled by the individual

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
435 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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